Soaps By Remote

Let Them Wear Cake

I associate The Young and the Restless with many positive things, but ‘fun’ isn’t generally the first word that comes to mind.  Except for this past week.  This past week was the very definition of great soapy fun.

With everything associated with Billy and Chloe’s wedding and the culmination (finally) of the Katherine/Marge identity story, I had a smile on my face.  I mean, come on, there was a cake fight!

They built up this great combination of elements.  A highly reluctant and even more charming groom.  A deluded but snarky bride.  The mother of the groom getting along with absolutely no one else, and vice versa.  The groom’s bratty niece/friend and smiling assassin of a brother/best man hanging about.  And the culmination of a lengthy DNA quest to undo months and years worth of story, but in a good way.

First there was the rehearsal dinner with zingers back and forth all over the place and the possibility of a food and/or fist fight breaking out at any moment if not for the room-silencing ability of the only comparatively sane person in the bunch, Ashley.  Of course, even she isn’t that sane given she’s pregnant by the Moustache.  But at least she actually stayed for the wedding.

Then we have the groom getting schtonkered and sleeping with the unwillingly lassoed, rapidly unravelling bridesmaid the night before the wedding, said bridesmaid being so hung over she looked like she was about to vomit on the bride and had to run out the of wedding, and Nikki showing up in a Pepto Bismol suit in the middle of the ceremony waving DNA results around.

With more than half the guests more interested in the DNA results than the wedding, the priest twisting the commitment knife as far as he possibly could, and the groom trying his best not to run away mid-ceremony, it was all kind of hilarious in the best soapy way.  And that was before this happened:

Kay throwing cake in now non-daughter Jill’s face and getting it right back was definitely fun.  And I’m pleased that they undid making them mother and daughter because I never fully understood why they made them mother and daughter in the first place.  Having the other key family and “family" members caught up in the fight, so it wasn’t just one on one, was also a positive.  I’m going to be interested to see how Jill copes have now isolated herself from almost everyone.

And then, of course, it’s all topped off with the return of the groom’s wife-cousin-non-wife-non-cousin, who really should have been granted substantially better lighting for her return so that she didn’t inadvertently look closer to Jill’s age than Billy’s.  Actually, I mainly think it’s Mac’s hair cut, which is quite aging.

Speaking of hair, it was a wedding, so we have to take a moment out for the outfits.  Esther got stuck with a giant floral tribute on her chest – which wasn’t as bad as it could be – Chloe’s otherwise cute outfit was ruined by that headband.  Her hair looked so much nicer when she was getting ready and didn’t have that thing in it.  And it should be noted that Colleen’s dress was no longer than the bottom of that photo.

But the real fashion focus for the event comes in Chloe’s apparent instinct for other things.  She may not know Sharon is sleeping with Billy, but she’s clearly got a sixth sense about something, because why else would she provide Sharon with a bridesmaid’s dress straight from the wardrobe of Carly Corinthos Jacks?

I’m long on the record with not liking Sharon, but even she does not deserve that monstrosity.  (Further proof that Ashley’s not all that sane: she called that dress elegant.  Ah, no.)

Can’t wait for this week.

OLTL Rocks!

I somehow got four weeks behind on One Life to Live.  It wasn’t intentional.  I’m not sure how it happened.  I’ve kept up with Y&R because I’ll confess I’m not watching close to the whole show, mainly I’m just watching the Billy-Chloe-Cane-Lily quad/custody battle.  

That oversight – partly driven by loving watching a bunch of eps in a row – aside, I’d like to sum up the show the best way I know how: I’m really disappointed that I’m going on vacation tomorrow because the show is so good right now I don’t want to have to wait a couple of weeks to see what happens next.

A couple of weeks back Nelson Branco listed 14 reasons you should be watching OLTL right now.  I agree with almost all of those, but there are a few I need to add, particularly relevant to the last few weeks:

15. Umbrella stories, all the time.  Almost everything on this show interlinks at one time or another.  Nothing makes for better soap than that.

16. They appear to be listening to the audience, and capable of effortlessly separating the wheat from the chaff once identified.  So, the audience to a person (so far as I can tell) loathes Vanessa and her whole story: goodbye Vanessa.  But goodbye in a way that they set up ages ago and which makes sense.  Audience loves the idea of A Martinez, but hates that revolting accent.  A Martinez returns with (a) a rapidly disappearing accent; (b) a sense of humour;  (c) the apparent intention of playing with his previous obvious chemistry with Robin Strasser; and (d) interesting and potentially tantalising scenes with Susan Haskell.

17. Good conversation.  The show may have started with delivering good high-octane sweeps stuff in the last couple of days – Blair’s stabbing, the car accident crashing two or three or four stories together, the teen stuff coming to a head – but the real value of last week and the week before was evident in a couple of days of just good conversation.  Talks between Bo and Rex, Viki and David, Starr and Todd, Ray and Marty, Dorian and Blair, Bo and Matthew, and David and Dorian, to name but a few.

18. Shades of Grey.  I’ve mentioned so many times before how much I prefer things to be grey than black and white.  OLTL continues to deliver ambiguity and layers in characters.  This is most evident to me in the rivalry between Blair and Marty.  For me they each go back and forth between being sympathetic and just bitchy.  But I like that, because each one is the bad guy on one day and understandable on the next.  I’ll be interested to see the play out of all of this in the aftermath of the stabbing and the car accident.  

Those overall points aside, keeping things as simple as possible, my take on the last few weeks is as follows:

Returning to Y&R

So, Y&R.  I’ve been hearing lots of good stuff about the last few months, so figured it was time to give it a try again.

My history with Y&R is patchy.  I certainly go back as far as Brad being the pool boy in those shorts, and Phil Morris passing himself off as white, but it was never my show.  I watched quite a bit during the 80s because it was on after Days here and Days was my show.  When I see references to the history of the show during that period I realise I watched a whole lot more than I thought I had, and if I recall correctly it moved like molasses back then.  But I also completely missed large chunks of the 90s and early 00s when I wasn’t watching Days any more.

I picked it back up again a few years back, sucked in by the initial hotness of Nick and Phyllis, and watched pretty consistently for a while there.  But I, like many others, got done in by the overall Latham malaise (and a lack of time etc).  I’m trying to remember when exactly I last quit watching – like everything else it was a fade out more that anything else.  Some time after the Phyllis-Sheila swap, but not that long after?

I’m aware that quite a bit has changed since then.  New (or recast) younger characters, Victor and Nikki are divorced again and both have been through subsequent and disasterous marriages, Ashley’s back, Brad is leaving, something about a magazine, Gloria finally, finally paying for that skin care poisoning that they’d forgotten about, Jeanne Cooper having a story, suddenly the place is overrun with ex-patriot Home and Away actors etc, etc.  Back when I was last watching Daniel and Lily were married, Jana hadn’t been around long, Amber had barely arrived in town, Colleen was played by a different actress and Phillip Chancellor III was still dead (and older).  

So, starting last Friday (the 9th) I’m back watching the show.

Preview

In a preview of what's coming next:  I love Robin's dress

General Hospital: Most of Two Days in Review

Okay, so, for the love of Robin and Patrick and engagements and babies, I have dived head first back into General Hospital, which I haven’t watched in months.  Turns out, unsurprisingly, that diving head first into such a shallow pool can cause serious injury.

Thus, with last Friday’s episode I was immediately greeted by the attempted farce of Max, Jason et al trying to convince Max’s father than Max is actually the mob boss and Jason his bodyguard in the face of an onslaught of Carly.  I was immediately rendered unconscious and had to wait some time to regain my head and check for brain damage before I could start watching again.  After fast-forwarding through the rest of that scene.  And the rest of everything else to do with that “story” for the rest of that and every other episode except where Maxie is involved.

And then I discovered I’d started a day late in terms of the actual Robin and Patrick engagement and had to go back.

At which point I was faced with this:

and felt immediately at home.  Frankly, I think a big part of the reason I got so bored with GH earlier in the year was because Carly had been dressing normally for months and half the glory was gone from the world.

Whatever she was aruging with Jax and Nikolas over, naturally I don’t care about.  Though there was a good line in there about how she would be petty enough to take revenge by selling out the hotel, just not in this case.  I was also, I’ll admit, rather pleased to discover that after all this time and numerous mutual wedding/party attendances they finally remembered that Jax and Carly essentially kidnapped Spencer in the not all that distant past and that therefore none of these three people should like each other.

As for Jerry going around injecting snoopy nurses with drugs, glad to see his character has grown and improved.

I also skipped all the stuff between Kate and Sonny, because I don’t really care about whatever lead up to Kate being shot.  Again.  And yeah, Sonny, you deciding to go back to the mob ain’t no big dramatic pronouncement.

Then, finally, halfway through the damn episode, we got back to the reason I was watching in the first place.  Loved Mac's little intervention, and his anticipation of Robin's reaction to it, was so sweet and a perfect Mac over-reaction, but charmingly deliberate in this case.  And it resulted in 1, 2, 3, Awww.

Returning then to Friday, and continuing on a sunny (as opposed to Sonny) theme, October 29th is a lovely day for Robin and Patrick to get married.  Nothing like walking down the aisle 10.1 months pregnant.  And shouldn’t she have a c-section scheduled because she’s less likely to pass on the HIV that way?  I’m pretty sure I learned that from…an episode of Night Shift maybe?  Definitely not this show.  But really, once they got over any cack-handed talk of Sonny Spawn, the 1, 2, 3 "Before" was also super cute.

Speaking of Sonny Spawn, I do like Olivia though.  Pity she has to be the mother of even more said Spawn. 

Of course, it goes without saying: shut up Sonny.

I also like Ric and Claudia.  Pity we didn’t get to follow them upstairs though. 

And Sam and Lucky.

All of which shows, again, what’s wrong with this show.  The stuff that’s good, and light, and fun, and romantic – Robin/Patrick, Sam/Lucky – gets no time.  In place we get the guns and drudgery.  They don’t even need to totally get rid of the mob, they just need to give us some goddamned balance!  Yes, yes, this is me beating a dead horse.  While banging my head against a brick wall.  And thanking the soap gods every day for Maxie Jones.

Next up: this week’s wedding plans.

Caps courtesy Laurie.

I See Story Progress

I know I’m behind, but between having cable hooked up again and the Olympics, I’ve been distracted. Plus I’ve had a never ending cold which has progressed from just annoying me to making me downright grumpy, which is no state in which to be posting. Especially not for this, my 500th post(!).

So, Days, the two weeks before the Olympic break/one-offs. An imperfect but quite enjoyable couple of weeks I think. Enjoyable for the most part because there was progress made in pretty much all the stories.

First, I liked the revelation that Trent and Nicole are still married. It explained her paranoia, without being outrageous or ridiculous. From the beginning they’ve made their relationship clearly abusive, and it’s good to get some further background to it without that background being anything totally mad. I know it’s wrong to say I’m liking a story involving some sort of spousal abuse, but given that otherwise Nicole could be such the caricature, where instead with this she gets to play drama and comedy and a variety of layers, makes for a great story. I’m also pleased that she told EJ, because it brought their relationship up to the next level, and gets to show another side of him too.

Also moving forward was the revelation that Paul was still alive. Even if I hadn’t been spoiled that still wouldn’t have been a surprise, but in this case that’s a good thing. They set it up so he could be dead or alive, and therefore don’t have to turn back-flips of incredulity to bring him back. Which, let’s face it, is refreshing on this show.

They also progressed the other side of the story with Hope working out what Bo was hiding and calling him on it appropriately. I loved Hope over this fortnight. Especially when she noted that Bo was acting liking a Kiriakis. Speaking of which we also had Philip “confessing” to Morgan and Bo being taken downtown. You know what we call that? Story progress. Again. Remarkable.

We also had Lucas getting out of jail, which I actually thought was too fast. They’d set up the fact he was doing something dangerous for Roman in order to get out – which was perfectly fine as a soap device to get a character out of jail – but the beat up happened too fast. That being said, Lucas was never going to work as an undercover operative in any circumstances, let alone maximum security prison, so maybe this was realistic. That said, I thought the scenes between Lucas and Maggie were great.

Then there was Ava’s departure, which again I thought was handled fine given the circumstances. I just don’t understand the point of the character in the first place, given how little they did with her.

Stefano’s return provided plenty of DiMera family goodness and bad Lexie doctoring. Who could ask for more? My favourite moments were Anna threatening to stab Stefano with a crucifix before she found out he was awake, and EJ and Tony practically dancing with discomfort while Lexie tested Stefano’s reflexes and John looked on with glee. Drake Hogestyn has that expression of sadistic glee down pat.

Finally we got to meet Melanie, who is great fun. I love that she’s entirely shameless, but not stupid, and the actress is doing okay so far.

In terms of the bad, the flashbacks are relentless. Sure, Bo and Hope’s random renewal of vows was rather sweet but it was really hard not to see it as (a) just an excuse to pad two episodes with old material; and (b) a fake set up for Bo’s “dramatic” arrest. I liked a genuine flashback as much as the next person, but I really don’t think an episode plus of them is worth it unless there’s a proper anniversary or reason to celebrate.

Also bad, the relative lack of Steve and Kayla. Though at least we saw Kayla being, shock horror, a doctor! That said, she never wears scrubs in the hospital, so why was she wearing them to hang out at Hope’s?

Now, the random and fashion-related comments.

- Thankfully, way too late, someone called EJ on the fact he could claim dual citizenship. Nice one Marlena. I’m liking her at the moment. Away from John, standing up to Trent, toying with EJ. However, was anyone else having flashbacks of a different kind when this happened?

- Yay, more Nicole and Chloe bonding. I’m pleased to see that wasn’t just a one-off, and that it’s not all easy as, but still a bit tense. I just wish they weren’t wearing such clashing outfits.

- So Lucas is back to being a Roberts now, is he? And how does a random nurse know that Philip Kiriakis and Lucas Roberts are brothers? Lucas might be pushing it to suggest that he and Chloe are in a relationship just yet though.

- Why does the Java Café only serve coffee in takeaway cups even to all the people drinking in?

- Did Chelsea just say she would never have picked Nick as a blog surfing type? Even though a rather large obstacle in their relationship involved a blog? Also, the party girl wouldn’t be Nick’s type? What, precisely, was Chelsea when he met her if not at least a wannabe party girl? With a video blog? It was nice to see non-pod Chelsea for the best part of a week though. Even if she did wind up wearing this inexplicable monstrosity to the wedding.

- I’m kind of sad they abandoned the map of France in favour of the over the top music to introduce the French scenes.

- I know Steph left Salem in sort of a hurry, but why was she wearing the same dress two days in a row? Did she only take the going away beret Chelsea and Morgan gave her and that dress with her? I bet she would have got changed if she knew she was going to jail.

- The golden wedding dress was a nice idea, but Kristian Alfonso is just too skinny. And over-tanned.

I don’t ever want to see her shoulder blades again. I did like, however, that Hope wasn’t instantly transformed, but rather that they actually brought the hairdresser to the house. Just like normal people.

- I’m glad to see Victor recovering so quickly that he goes from “no visitors” – albeit an order by the patronising doctor – to weddings and home in the blink of an eye. However why was Kate invited to the wedding? As Bo’s ex’s mother, as his father’s ex? And yet Bo’s brother Philip is not invited? Or Sami? I don’t understand.

Oh, and Victor, I agree, I couldn’t look at that jacket either.

Decent caps courtesy Days2 and NBC.

The Week In Six, Mainly Insubstantial, Points

I have exactly six things to say about last week’s Days.

1. No Nicole was a real problem.

2. I think the wardrobe department likes Chelsea with Daniel about as much as the rest of us do given the way they keep dressing her in white in a manner which just seems to emphasise the age difference even further.

Having him greet her by kissing her on the top of the head doesn’t help either.

3. Heaven forbid, did Kayla and Steve actually have a conversation about her finding him in bed with Ava? No, no, I must have been hallucinating that. Seriously, that two part discussion was so, so overdue and unsurprisingly really well delivered. It might have actually been satisfying if it weren’t so unjustifiably long in coming.

4. I like that Philip feels guilty about Bo’s position in the great cover-up of...snore. Sorry. But frankly Philip spent the whole week coming off sounding whiney and self-centred: “how am I supposed to live with that?” etc.

5. Seriously, that train journey was/continues to be the longest trip through France ever taken.

6. I know I should be grateful that Marlena wasn’t wearing pink, but what was this outfit?

Caps courtesy NBC and Days2.

This is What Happens When You Actually Name the Country…

Yeah, Days is still not really rocking very much is it? It is giving my fast-forward button a work-out and generating a series of random comments though.

First entirely random comment that’s not really about the show, per se: apparently NBC thinks this is a vital screencap to summarise last Tuesday’s episode:

Which is perhaps apt. Of the way I’m hardly wrapt with the show at the moment.

Being serious for a moment, I understand why Morgan is upset about her father, but why is she suddenly so dependant on and trusting of Philip? She was never stupid before. I have no doubt that Philip’s feelings for her are genuine, and we know he didn’t have her father killed, but he’s smack-bang in the middle of this mess and she knows it. So it does the character, and the potential couple, no favours at all. It makes her look stupid and him look completely opportunistic.

Bo hiding the Philip information is rather out of character but his half-hearted pangs of guilt are not interesting enough to make it compelling. Even though Victor’s heart palpitations of emotional blackmail were classic.

Being less serious, I’m almost disappointed to see we have maps of actual countries in Europe now.

Damn Ed Scott, I’m going to miss the gang’s various adventures in Downtown Europe. And specifying a train journey through France for Max and Stephanie, instead of the show’s previous fondness for generic European destinations, does raise some issues the writers apparently hadn’t considered. For example, the train journey across France doesn’t take that long.

In fact Paris to Marseille takes less than 4 hours. Certainly not long enough for Stephanie to discover Max was gone, hover around with family and friends, get going away berets, fly from Salem, USA to France, France and find the train. Even with the train “switching engines”. If Max was riding the Tour de France, maybe, but not riding the train. Well, I guess if we can’t have Downtown Europe any more, at least we can still have completely unrealistic travel times. If only I could find someone on the Days writing staff to plan my next trip to France so that my normal 27 hour journey takes about a 5th of that time, I’d be really happy.

Also, a related question: if I recall correctly (and I do), Max lost all his race driver/garage money when he hocked the garage to invest in Jeremy’s Salem-Las Vegas totally illegal human trafficking airline, and has recently been doing presumably unpaid community service on the docks in penance for hiding the body of the guy who raped his girlfriend/niece after his ex-girlfriend/niece accidentally killed him. In addition he has been working as a presumably underpaid bartender at his parents’ pub after his father died. So, how is he paying for this trip to France? In a first class compartment?

Wholly unrelated question: exactly why is Marlena being dressed exclusively in bubblegum pink recently?

Semi-related comment: hee!

Comment two steps removed: hey, Sami and Lucas remembered for half a second on Friday that Will exists. Remarkable. But then they forgot again because Lucas is only “fighting to come back to Ali”.

Finally, back to wardrobe issues, it may only be halfway through the year, but I think I can say with confidence that GH’s Carly has already been knocked off her perch as Queen of Horrid Soap Fashion. The runner up to that title last year has made a rapid and undeniable charge to the front. Yes, I give you Kate Roberts…

The Heat is On (and It's Causing Flashbacks)

This week’s Days review is about random comments and clothing, which means, again, it wasn’t a super compelling week. Even with mucho sex going on. Of course, when half the week is flashbacks, that’s hardly a surprise.

First, disaster relief? Really? It’s a bit of heat and a partial blackout. Exactly how delicate are the citizens of Salem?

Then again, some of them are known to try and cool down by rubbing the empty part of an almost empty glass of water on themselves, so I’m not surprised they’re over-heated.

Speaking of over-hearted, way to be respectful there Daniel. Don’t stop kissing the girl when everyone is staring at you and the inappropriateness of it all, just drag her just fractionally further out of view. That said, Kate’s faint was ludicrous. And really funny.

And yet, not quite as hilarious as Marlena’s slow mo hair toss at the destruction of the lab.

As for those electing to beat the heat by just getting hotter, I loved Nicole and EJ, and while I didn’t dislike the Chloe-Lucas hook-up, if for the purposes of mixing things up at the very least, that felt a bit more mechanical. EJ and Nicole delivered both heat and dramatic layers, and I really like what they’re doing with Nicole this time around. When it comes to Sami though, if she keeps acting so ranty it seems obvious that the men in her life are going to keep screwing other women in elevators. Especially if her ranting is more about the location of the sex than the sex itself.

Now that we have the great Dr Jonas, and Chelsea has embarked on yet another career at the hospital, who will be next to be felled? Bo, Chelsea, Kayla, Joe, Kate and now Victor. The parade of injuries and sudden unnecessary illnesses seems destined to continue. Equally destined to continue, that it’s highly unlikely we ever see Kayla actually working in a proper capacity as a doctor. Blah.

On to the clothing. Let me introduce you to Kate Roberts, gunslinger:

And Caroline Brady, sofa cushion:

I loved the colour of Stephanie’s dress, but cannot for the life of me figure out that thing stuck to the front of it.

And, finally, I think I own Kayla’s jacket, but in navy.

(Zara, $79. Which, trivially, is where my screen name came from.)

Daytime Emmys Fashion - The Polls

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