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One Life to Live

30 June 2009

OLTL Catch-up Week 10

Week 10

Aka the Week of the Crying and the Hugging

- Michael and Marcie decide to renew their vows, twisting that knife even further

- Starr and Cole are reunited with Hope, Marcie offers Starr a locket of Hope’s hair even though Hope doesn’t presently have any hair.  There are some disturbingly nice scenes between Blair and Todd before Todd seeks to take the kids home with him

- Rachel tests Nora on her feelings for Bo and Clint, Bo tries to convince John to come back to the force, Clint tries to convince Nora to set a date. Bo and John’s discussion reminds me that disappointingly we haven’t seen Bo and Rex talking in a while

- Brody starts to help Jessica through her feelings about losing the baby, Charlie tries to help Viki with the same by proposing

- Gigi’s hair is no longer so nice, the nice again, but I continue to enjoy watching Gigi and Schuyler. “Was she stripping in a convent?”

- Marty puts the moves on John, Viki and Tea bond some more.  Todd takes his ‘goons’ to bust Naked Lady out of the hospital, so she can help him keep the kids from Blair, meanwhile McPain lays out some honesty to Blair over their marriage and I am a bit disappointed, I’ll admit. Not with the honesty, just with the outcome. John then rolls straight over to see Marty, while Blair goes to see Todd and get the raw end of the pentagon.  I vote for Blair getting a whole new guy

- Starr changes her mind about giving up Hope, while Natalie fesses to Marcie and Michael about how long she knew about the baby-switch. Marcie overhears Langston and Markko discussing how Starr and Cole wanting to keep the baby having already suspected as much herself, meanwhile they decide that making out is the best remedy for that

- Marty talks Cole into attending graduation, Markko’s mother keeps reminding everyone that his name is actually Heraldo Rivera, Markko gives a speech that motivates Marcie into giving back the baby, and the boys graduate (well, sort of, in Cole’s case), and Marty and John make it in time to see it and it’s actually kind of sweet

- The too-be-married couples get together – “Look Clint, a ring!” – and predictably establish they’re all getting married on the same day, which further rubs Dorian’s face in her singledom after Ray leaves.  She then proceeds to start seeing kissing couples everywhere at the graduation party (which I don’t know why she’s hosting given Langston and Starr don’t graduate until next year).  Also, I know I haven’t been watching very long, but shouldn’t Dorian know who Rachel is without being introduced by Shaun?

- The custody battle goes back to court, Todd subpoenas Marty to testify not knowing she has a vested interest in having Blair get the kids back, and then he calls a surprise witness

People who cry this week: Viki, Charlie, Jessica, Brody, Starr, Marty, Cole, Blair, Marcie, Michael, more from Blair, Dorian, more from Jessica, more from Starr, Natalie, more from Marcie.

Rating for the Week: 4 out of 5

27 June 2009

OLTL Catch-up Weeks 8 and 9

Week Eight

- Todd waits for news of Tea in the hospital, Blair comes to visit, Todd again makes the baby being dead or alive all about him, until Blair informs him of the kidnapping on top of the kidnapping on top of the baby-switch. They then lay some civil, nay, friendly groundwork between Todd and Blair

- Next it’s John and Marty’s turn. And with the actual smiling and inappropriate making-out there was a bit more more-than-friends chemistry there than I’ve seen previously, but still not enough for me. I still think that Blair and John, and Todd and Tea, and Blair and Tea, and, as wrong as I know it is, Todd and Marty, work better chemistry-wise that Todd and Blair, and John and Marty

- Schuyler comes to visit Gigi and I hit the verge of being able to watch some part of this story.  Especially when Gigi is calling Stacey a complete whack-job (literally).  Gigi and Schuyler are very easy to watch, I think it’s the combination of Scott Clifton, the characters suddenly ceasing their recent stupidity, and Gigi having hope and sarcasm instead of desperation, which plays much more to Farah Fath’s strengths.  Unfortunately for Rex, the Stacey-Rex-Kyle-Pimp Dude part of the story remains unwatchable.  But if Rex is going to be that dumb, he deserves everything he gets

- I reflect on the fact that it’s actually quite un-soapy that Natalie and Jared anticipated all the trouble (partly of their own making, of course) and got married the night before the wedding was scheduled.  In normal soap world this would have been another obstacle to that

- Bess proves less than adept at delivering clunky exposition, Mirror Tess starts to appear and is now, apparently, the rational one, while Brody gets a earful of the possibilities of Jessica’s DID

- They remember that Brody and Charlie were in AA together for half a second

- It comes time for baby-switch obfuscating and revealing. The obfuscation task falls to Blair for Starr, Marty for Cole, and John for Marcie and Michael.  Of course that part is easy for Silent John; he just doesn’t say anything at all for several scenes while Marcie and Michael cluelessly theorise.  Eventually they break the news and the Manning, Thornhart and McBain clans sit down to wait together.  The nice thing with all of this is that the adults, despite all their own turmoil, are acting like adults.  Blair, Todd and Marty are a united front for the kids, and Todd may roll his eyes at Marcie, but he keeps his mouth shut

- Bess goes to see Nash’s parents, who apparently didn’t know that Nash is dead.  Fortunately Nash’s father happens to turn on the TV at exactly the moment Viki is making her plea for information about the missing pair, unfortunately both Brennan’s turn out to be supremely gullible.  Meanwhile Brody heads out looking for Jessica and thanks to some locational faux-backs has no trouble figuring out where Bess has gone

- Cristian moves in with Layla.  I don’t expect to see them again for another few weeks.

- Todd: “Why is it when John goes all vigilante he’s a hero and when I do it I’m a jerk?” Ha!   

Rating for the Week: 4.5 out of 5.

Week Nine

June!  I’m up to June!

- Brody does not for a second buy Bess as Jess, which is about how long we believed Tess as Jess last year. Of course it’s somewhat predictable that Nash’s parents have a shotgun, a vase and understandable misunderstanding in their arsenal of interference.  That brings Jessica out and confuses the hell out of the Brennans

- Cole goes to talk to Rachel about his conflicting emotions about Hope’s return, and everyone else starts contemplating the realities of Hope being alive for her multiple parents. Dorian, of course, blames Viki for the baby-switch

- Viki, Clint, Clint’s hat, Bo, Charlie, Jared, Natalie and the rain all arrive at Brennan central to confront Bessica.  And take-over the Brennan’s house.  There is then an odd juxtaposition of Bo waiting for the SWAT team while the rest of the family hangs casually around the living room that said SWAT team would likely want to storm

- The ABC promo department undermines itself and annoys me by telling us in a strap on Tuesday’s episode that Starr and Hope will be reunited the following Monday.  And then again on Thursday’s episode…

- Viki plays Jean Randolph in an attempt to break through Bess, Clint continues to feel impotent, Natalie blames herself, and through this they bond. Jessica finally remembers what happened and works through it with Viki, and I think Bree Williamson did a much, much better job than she did with Nash’s death last year.  Erika Slezak’s dynamite performance goes without saying

- Gigi’s hair is looking good

- Lord, Brody has lovely blue eyes

- Mo and Noelle appear.  Had almost forgotten they existed.  Their job here is apparently to serve up food and insensitivity.  Shaun asks Rachel out, Destiny offers to help Matthew with his math

- Officer “Moraso Fiasco” Fish moves in with Layla and Cristian, creating a whole new spin on the three’s company idea, and an ad and how-to for digital conversion

- Todd shows up to make amends with Marcie and Michael in his unique Todd way, John and Marty bond some more, the Buchanans say goodbye to Chloe, Starr verges on deciding to keep the baby, and I may tear up a little when Jessica and Viki give the baby to Blair and Todd.  Jessica cries in Brody’s arms and I come close to forgiving Bree Williamson for last year’s over-the-top hysterics

Rating for the Week: 4.25 out of 5.  It only doesn't rank as highly as the previous week because of all the exposition partly necessary and partly unnecessary in having Jessica remember the baby-switch.


24 June 2009

OLTL Catch-up Week 7

Week Seven

- Marty remembers the rape and then everything else with coaching from Todd, while Tea gets disappointingly hysterical, Blair takes charge, and John continues to talk to himself

- Starr and Cole spring Kyle at Todd’s, while Natalie and Jared spring Brody at Llanfair, which gives Rebecca the chance to kidnap Hope

- Tea and Blair have a gas-induced heart-to-heart, Jack gives John a few clues but not enough to avoiding getting hit over the head, and the stories crash into each other as Rebecca hands Hope to Powell so he can talk endlessly at Todd and Marty while Jessica goes into a panic upon discovering the baby missing

- John eventually saves the day. Of course.  Tea doesn’t quite spill the beans about her big secret, there’s an explosion and a building collapse (stakes, you are officially up)

- Natalie and Jared finally tell the truth about the baby switch while Jessica begins to remember and Brody tries to help her through it.  When Viki and Clint begin to realise which baby the real Chloe was traded for, I get chills

- I get them again in the hospital when major eye contact happens between Todd, Marty and then Viki, who figures out why the baby was kidnapped.  Todd then makes it all about him and in a sign that, again, this show isn’t GH, Marty and Viki immediately make fun of his god complex

- Separately, Hope’s four parents find out that Hope isn’t the baby that was buried, and Starr is immediately on to all the inconsistencies in the late Dr Joplin’s story as an explanation . Of course that’s nothing compared to how freaked out Starr and Cole become when Todd and Marty say that the four of them need to sit down and have a chat

- Random spectacles sit around the hospital for no reason

- Jess/Tess/Bess takes off with the baby and the random spectacles that sit around the hospital for no reason.  Brody is the only one who can bring Jess out which is reasonable given how hot, cute and sweet he is, but Bess takes over again

- Location, location, location

- The redemption of Kyle begins, Marty and Cole get reacquainted, Marty and Blair have a few great grandmother bonding moments, Tea isn’t doing so well, and McPain gets a hug

Rating for the week: 4.5 out of 5.  This is how you do sweeps.  Often the less I have to say about episodes the better they are.  Too caught up to comment.  Too good to make fun of.  Also, Todd and Marty still have too much chemistry to ever make me comfortable.

22 June 2009

OLTL Catch-up: Week 6

Week Six

- Bo and Nora discuss their near-kiss, hug it out and get caught by Clint who is sick of being on the outer, but honest about it, and Bo is honest in return. “I thought you wanted the truth.” “That doesn’t mean I have to like it!” “You should have thought of that before you started dating my ex-wife.” Then Charlie gets in on the jealousy act.

- Langston and Dorian have a really good conversation about sex, which doesn’t stop Dorian from toying mercilessly with Markko, who himself starts the Condom Follies Relay, passing the baton to Dorian, who in turn passes it on to stab-happy Lola

- Poor Jack finds Todd, Blair and Tea passed out, thinks they’re all dead and then has to have a conversation with himself which is super awkward, before proving he can make a crack about McPain in any circumstances and isn’t at all stupid

- And it’s bucks and hens time. To which Natalie decided to wear a prom dress circa 1992:
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which winds up being her wedding dress when she and Jared are married by John Hudson in front of no witnesses.  Much like most the pre-wedding parties had no witnesses in this house because of the Morasco Fiasco turning into the Stripper Fiasco at both events

- Prom!  Baby Exhumation!  Wholly inappropriate prom entertainment! All on the same night!  And despite exhumation taking place the same night as the dance, Starr and Cole at the Prom look happy for possibly the first time since I have been watching this show, i.e. over a year

- Langston’s dress is fabulous from the front, but when she turns around one wonders why she felt the need to accessorise with a pink apron worn backwards. Maybe she was afraid of sitting in something

- Clint over-compensates for his jealousy and the general crappiness of their relationship by proposing to Nora, but another honest conversation follows, then another proposal

- Loony Powell recreates the dorm room where Marty was raped and fesses up to the murder spree with his justification being trying to make everything up to Marty.  Because stabbing the guy sleeping next to her in the bed won't traumatise her at all.  He has people trussed, tied and straight-jacketed. This, naturally, results in hallucinations, head-butting, taunting and bargaining. At least they actually referenced Houdini

- As promised by some lovely people in the comments, high as a kite Lola is truly hilarious. She also fesses up to the murder we’ve known for some time that she committed

- I believe Ray plays the guitar, but even my decades long love for A Martinez isn’t getting me to watch that.  Dorian tries her best to blend into the armchair so he’ll forget she’s there and stop playing:
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But when the chameleon thing doesn’t work to stop the guitar, sex does.  Or, as Lola would put it: sex, sex, sex, sex, sex (floaty movement)(flounce), sex

- Speaking of which, Lola and Markko are so adorably nervous and giddy and sweet and romantic and finally get down to business but I am a little distracted that (a) they used that song GH used for Jason and Elizabeth; and (b) that I know that’s the song they used for Jason and Elizabeth (weaknesses showing)

- Rebecca, for some reason, opens the door of Todd’s house where she’s holding the boys hostage.  Lucky it’s her baby-switch-secret-knowing brother at the door

- Marty remembers the rape, and Tea and Blair make an ill-advised(ish) break for it

- John, appropriately, wears a black t-shirt as he goes on his rescue mission (see my upcoming dissertation: The Silent Stare-Hero Complex Paradigm: Jason Morgan and John McBain, A Comparative Study)

- Blah, blah Morasco Fiasco, still not watching

Rating for the Week: 3.75 out of 5.  The serial killer story started to come to a head, there was lots of romance and plenty of sex, but the structure was suffering a bit from cramming too much into a two “day” period, with what should have been more cliff-hanger-y stories getting left aside for a couple of episodes and making the week feel a bit disjointed.

13 June 2009

OLTL Catch-up: Week 5

Week Five

- Brody and Jessica continue to be super sweet, but not saccharine, especially with the fake fights, and Viki gets in on the secret

- The killers are revealed, and creepy; one of them is insane and the other somewhat dim, and a bad actress.  They make their move with straight jackets, invitations and botox

- Marty and John continue to convince me as friends-ish, but not as a couple, especially given that John and Blair have more chemistry in a phone call than Marty and John have sharing a bed.  Heaven help me, but Marty has better chemistry with Todd

- Cole continues to be chased by his demons, and is supported by Starr, but as it turns out a good night’s sleep cures Cole of his addiction to pills, and Starr of her addiction to Schuyler

- Blair finally (in soap time) leaves the hospital, but moves in with Todd

- Oh so surprisingly, Cristian, who hasn’t worked in any form whatsoever in the more than a year I’ve been watching this show, can’t afford to buy his suddenly going co-op apartment, while sometime off-screen Adriana sold her business so Layla conveniently also cannot afford her rent.  I wonder what will happen next?  

- Speaking of off-screen, Talia does not get an on-screen funeral

- Kyle gets tied to the serial killer story as well as informing Starr and Cole that the hair sample from “Hope” isn’t from their child, figures out the baby switch in the process, and calls Jared and Natalie on their knowledge of it before employing a little blackmail

- Jared and Natalie are apparently now getting married “tomorrow”!  With no planning.  See this post for my thoughts on that

- Tea decides to show up at Todd’s wearing not much, having apparently forgotten that he got custody of his kids.  However she makes up for that by making a nice play of “if you’re sleeping with someone, you’re sleeping with everyone they’ve slept with” both figuratively and, by the end of the week, literally

- Cole, Nora and Bo reach an understanding of sorts

- Lola tells Dorian that Markko and Langston are planning on having sex

- and I continue to fast forward all of the Fiasco except the conversation between Gigi and Viki, and the Scott Clifton bits which didn’t technically cross with the story at all this week. Unfortunately the Fiasco invades my screen 4 out of 5 days

Rating for the week: 3 out of 5.  On the plus side the serial killer story started to move to a climax, and there was progress with the baby-switch, but there was far too much of the Fiasco to make it a good week.

08 June 2009

OLTL Catch-up: Weeks 3 and 4

Week Three

- Charlie is jealous of Clint and Viki, leading to Charlie agreeing to move in with Viki despite being uncomfortable with living at Llanfair

- Talia dead, stabbed, pool, John arrested, Major officious, John escapes (at least there’s no fake-hanging this time), fugitive, indispensable hero complex, etc, etc

- Talia’s death reverberates, Cristian and Layla get closer (Tika Sumpter does a great job with her reaction scenes), Antonio returns, rather creepy morgue hugging scenes ensue

- Viki and Todd share a few good scenes about the state of the newspaper business and Tea

- Lola continues to be a little bitch. A psycho little bitch, but absolutely everyone sees through her

- Tea continues to use Todd for sex, and use sex to distract him, and provide Marty with the excuse to make this wholly appropriate face upon walking in on the aftermath of them doing it in the court room – “I’ll admit it was a poor choice of venue”
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- Starr appears to be coming back from the brink of teacher-obsessed madness, which is both good and rather fast

- Cole delivers one of those hilarious potted soap histories to Rachel in order to justify his drug use, and then makes progress, and starts to go into withdrawal

- RJ reappears, David reappears, his marriage to Dorian disappears

- Nora gets strangled by a blouse
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- Natalie punches Brody in the six pack

- Starr and Cole begin the testing process to find out what happened to Hope

- and I fast forward all of the Morasco Fiasco (except where it crosses with Brody and Jessica), which invades my screen for 2 of 5 days.  Can I add that one of the most disappointing things about this story is that the one promising bit, the reveal of Rex’s father, has been left to hang around

Rating for the week: 3 out of 5. The John being framed thing is utterly boring because it’s so damn predictable and makes no objective sense, but with far less Morasco, far more Tea, an actual appearance by Blair, and shirtless Brody, an improvement over the previous couple of weeks.

Week Four

- David and Viki hang out

- John and Marty go on the run, snore, try to track down Powell, blah, blah. I don’t have a problem with them in theory, but in practice I find him and Blair far more interesting.  Though at least the story is now progressing

- Brody comes clean to Jessica about fake-sleeping with Gigi, she forgives him, and hotness ensues, and later, total cuteness

- Cole confesses to Starr that he’s an addict, and the scenes are heartfelt and really good, they then decide that going through withdrawal in her bedroom in a house where approximately 265 people live is a good idea

- Ray and Dorian go on a date, but again I don’t care so much because Ray is leaving, even though they have great chemistry. RJ and Tea go on a date, but it’s only to make Todd jealous, and it works.

- Markko and Langston start to heat things up

- Todd gets custody of the kids, which, given the circumstances, is hardly a surprise

- Matthew goes back to school, Bo and Nora sweetly and hilariously follow him there, almost make-out, get sprung by Marcie, and get a lesson in parenting a teenager

- and I fast forward all the Morasco Fiasco, which invades my screen for only 2 days out of 5 and only 1 of those involved Stacey.  Much improvement

Rating for the week: 4 out of 5.  I’m bored with the serial killer story, mainly because it just seems to be a really obvious way of throwing John and Marty together, but everything else was pretty damn good.

07 June 2009

OLTL Catch-up: Weeks 1 and 2

Yeah, yeah, so I took a 8 week soap break.  At first unintentional, and then semi-intentional.  

But how does one come back from that kind of hiatus?  By taking it like the proverbial sportsperson: one week at a time.

And they say nothing happens on soaps…

OLTL Catch-up Week One

- Starr goes over-the-top loony in her desperation for Schuyler, and Cole isn’t much better, returning once again to pact with the devil and tittle-tattle to Todd when Starr does something he doesn’t like. Todd reacts predictably. Schuyler, however, stands up to Todd and I love Scott Clifton even more

- Everyone starts pursuing Zach as a possible killer

- Zach holds Starr and Cole hostage, causing Todd, John and Marty to voluntarily work together without too much crap

- Jared and Natalie talk, talk, talk about telling or not telling the truth about the baby

- Brody tries to explain the Gigi situation to Jessica

- David appears in a hilarious haemorrhoid commercial and Dorian and Ray dance around each other some more but I am no longer interested in the second part of that because I know Ray is leaving

- Jack Manning remains fabulously brat-tastic. And pretty smart.  Though Ray is pretty hilarious in return.

- Matthew comes home, we start to get a hint of a larger story with Destiny and Shaun, and Rachel makes an appearance. On that note, of course I have no idea about the character of Rachel, but I like the actress, and you can see she’s soap experienced because she was extremely natural right from the beginning, nothing stilted there

- Marty’s hair goes from wavy to straight mid-way through a conversation as the episode changes

- Lola’s psycho streak becomes more apparent.  But then I fast-forward through most of that, except for Langston being smart and cool

- Todd’s narcissism is called out by numerous people

- Tea and Viki continue to rock

- I fast forward every single second to do with the Morasco Fiasco (except the bits with Brody and Jess mentioned above, and a bit involving Schuyler which had more to do with the Starr story) which invaded my screen on 3 out of 5 days

Rating for the week: 2.25 out of 5

Week Two

- Jared and Natalie talk, talk, talk about telling the truth about the baby, or not. But Jared does it in a towel, thus gaining .25 extra rating points

- Zach continues to hold Starr hostage, and John and Todd eventually fix up that situation

- Cole continues to be in the least convincing in-house rehab program ever, and high as the proverbial kite on the 4th of July, using his friends to cheat the drug tests

- Charlie and Viki are on together and get to be romantic, but get interrupted, of course.  However the ensuing conversation between Viki and Clint, with Viki pointing out the problems with Clint dating Nora, is a good thing.  And duelling conversations between Viki and Clint, and Bo and Nora redeem the interruption

- The sibling relationship between Matthew and Rachel is nicely established, and Rachel inappropriately agrees to be Cole’s counsellor, because in the least convincing in-house rehab program ever it is not possible to have an appropriate counsellor, apparently

- There were no scenes of John having to wrangle his step-kids.  Or interact with his wife for that matter

- Tea resists the urge to stab Todd in the eye with a sharp stick and uses him for sex instead.  Which is amusing, but still more than he deserves

- Chloe is Christened.  In the middle of a weekday, when everyone is supposed to be at school/work.  And prompts Starr and Cole to decide to exhume the baby

- John as murder suspect/general fugitive is set-up, the officious Mayor returns and I roll my eyes. Marty starts to get more of her memory back

- Talia gets stabbed and thrown in a pool

- and, I fast forward every single second to do with the Morasco Fiasco which invaded my screen on 3 out of 5 days, though as it quickly slid by it did appear that Stacey was finally getting stuck with needles and Shane was getting his transplant

Rating for the week: 2.5 out of 5

05 April 2009

The Cramer Bunch and Other Families

Obviously OLTL has not been as close to perfect as it usually is over the last few weeks.  Breaking it down though, there has still been so much to love about it, and I think the problems come down to only three things:

1. Stacy’s Adventures in Bone Marrow Blackmail;

2. The sudden increase in speed in three stories in particular; and

3. The temporary loss of balance between dark and light.

I’m not going to go on about the backstage stuff that it has been suggested is responsible for these changes – though I have every reason to believe those rumblings of network interference are true, largely because that’s precisely how it reads on screen – but rather just offer up my opinion of the last few weeks and why I’m optimistic going forward.  

And hell, in this week when Guiding Light got cancelled it’s nice to have more than one soapy thing to be optimistic about between OLTL and the glory of Billy and Chloe’s wedding week and all that went with it on Y&R (which I’ll get to in more detail in the next couple of days).

One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard around the traps is that OLTL, which has been so good at balancing light and dark for the last 11 months I’ve been watching, has suddenly become so dark.  And certainly, over the last month with car accidents and multiple children in peril and a serial killer on the loose, that’s definitely been the case.  I’m not that concerned about it though, even in these recessionary times, for two main reasons.

First, sometimes it’s not that appropriate to be playing funny against some dire stories.  I think it would have been jarring to have Matthew being paralysed and Cole overdosing and Shane getting cancer and Blair in a coma on one side, and comedy on the other.  Of course, they didn’t need to do all those things at once, but that goes back to all that behind the scenes stuff, so I’ll just take it that at this time they did have to have all that going on at once, and feel that it was okay to wallow in the drama for a couple of weeks.  Especially when so much of the drama was really good.  But I’ll come back to that in a moment.

Second, I think the period of all darkness is over with the show having started to pull out of it in this last week with Dorian’s romantic shenanigans and Jack’s amusing turn at brat-hood, and the future is looking more balanced.  After all, out of all of this has come one of the most demented versions of a Brady Bunch-style household I’ve ever seen.  I mean, for the time being we’re going to have Dorian, Addie, Blair, Star, Jack, Sam, Langston, Mo, Noelle, Ray, Lola, Shaun and John freakin’ McBain living in the same house.  With promised drop-ins by David Vickers.  Sorry, David Buchanan.  There’s nothing but a pile of comedic potential in that, even if a good portion of it comes from Jack making fun of John’s hair and wardrobe.  

As for the speed, there was a sudden fast-forward in Natalie and Jared figuring out the baby-switch, which for the most part I didn’t mind.  I’d much rather things go relatively quickly because characters are portrayed as being a bit cluey – Natalie and Jared’s lightbulb moment when Marcie starting talking about Cole’s blood type was a relief more than anything else – than have everyone sitting around being dumb when the answer is staring them in the face.  Of course, the non-reveal of the information they now have is bugging me, but at least I know that with Michael and Marcie’s departure scheduled, there’s a time limit on how long they can sit on that secret.  And I wouldn’t mind seeing all their hard work at being redeemed from the last DNA secret they kept unravelling because they didn’t learn their lesson.

Aside from the stupid story that I’ve already (mostly) quarantined into it’s own post, the other story that’s suddenly gone on fast-forward is Layla and Cristian.  Now, in theory, I’m certainly behind them testing this out.  For several reasons, including that when a show has a larger cast I would rather they experiment with relationships between existing players rather than automatically just bring on new characters while leaving established ones languishing.  Until it begins to head towards The Bold and the Beautiful levels of ookiness, of course.  But throwing them into scene after scene of “combat”, going so far to lock them in rooms a couple of times in a couple of weeks, seems far too speedy for me.  The powers that be should be taking lessons from themselves and the great slow burn they did with Jessica and Brody and letting it build a bit more gradually.

On the flipside, the pacing of the serial killer story, and the Matthew/Cole stories and all the things radiating off them, feels pretty good.  And, especially with the killer story, feels like they actually plotted it out from the beginning, rather than making it up as they go along (*cough* General Hospital *cough*).  Although the same could not be said for Antonio’s departure, which was about as half-hearted as a send-off could get.  And he’s been on the show how long?  At least a decade, right?  Though I guess he wasn’t injected with something and sent off in a wheelchair or just never mentioned again (*cough* Days *cough*).

Really though, in a month when every story has focused on the kids – think about it, Matthew, Cole, Starr, Shane, Chloe, Jack and Sam have been at the centres of each of the current stories and twists – most of the glory has belonged with the relationships between parents and their kids and between parents and other parents.  It’s driven dynamic scenes between, in particular, Nora and Marty running a gambit of every emotion of pain and blame and sorrow and love.  And Cole and his two mothers, and his “brother”.  And between Bo and Matthew quietly working through horrible realities, and Bo and Rex, and Bo and Nora (the revival of that relationship has felt so natural), and Dorian and Viki, and Jack and Todd bonding with Jack taking a Todd’s side on many things but not taking his crap either.

All of that has been exceedingly strong.  

And then there’s Tea.  I love Tea.  I loved her realisation about how she felt about Todd, her conversation with Viki, her turning around and representing, effectively, Marty and Cole and Blair and Starr, and then all her little dances with Todd both in the Court room and subsequent.  Florencia Lozarno is great.

Looking at the last couple of days and going forward there are a number of other things showing promise.  First, Thursday was clearly Brody Speaks For the Audience Day, as I loved his confrontation with Stacy from beginning to end. “Are you threatening me?” “Well, people are getting stabbed all over town, or haven’t you heard?”  If we’re going to have this crap story, at least it’s punctuated with confrontations like that and followed up by Schuyler also calling Stacy on her crap – there would have only been one thing that could make this story worse, which would have been that no one saw through Stacy, but at least as they’re writing it, everyone but Shane does see through her in one way or another.

Second, Starr, Starr, Starr.  I actually like where they’re taking this, even if some parts are a bit squirm-making to watch.  Starr has been this paragon of virtue since I started watching.  Now, I gather that wasn’t always the case, but with all the crap she’s had happen to her in the last year – hell, even the last month – that they’re using that to move her away from good girl and into someone who is troubled, and not seeing straight, and interesting, is quite appealing to me.  Especially as they’re having Schuyler react in the right way.  I am interested to see how it plays out.  Aside from anything else, it doesn’t feel like a soap story I’ve seen over and over again.

So, things in Llanview are imperfect, but I’m still enjoying the hell out of most of the show, and want to see what happens next.

With the darkness, it hasn’t been a quote-heavy few weeks, but a few of my favourites were:

Michael to John, re Todd: “Because he’s a newsman he has access to old school print and random extra Ds?”

“All I’m looking for is a friendly place to stay, no a psycho-analysis.”  I hate Stacey, but I don’t mind her pronunciation sometimes.

Addie: “Go home.”
John: “Go home?”
Addie: “Blair’s really going to want to see you when she comes out of this coma, and, I don’t know how to break this to you; you really need a shower.”

Tea to Ray, re Dorain: “In Llanview, by the way, that’s called Poking the Cobra.”

And the whole exchange between Jack and John re John being a vampire and the state of his hair, etc.

02 April 2009

Beware: Loathing Ahead

I’ve been trying to think of a soap story trope that I loathe more, but I really don’t think there is one.

So I will officially declare the old “partner tries to convince other partner they don’t love them for some “higher” purpose” my Most Hated Soap Storyline.

I know soaps are not about real life or common sense, but it’s the complete and utter lack of common sense and seeing the obvious that renders these stories loathsome to me.  Plus they smack of lazy “we need an obstacle, we need an obstacle, come up with an obstacle now!” writing.  But mainly it’s the frustration they inevitably generate because the answer: “just tell the other person the truth!”, is right out there for everyone to see from moment one.

Obviously this little rant is being driven by OLTL’s decision to experiment with Stacy’s Adventures in Bone Marrow Blackmail.  Which is rendering a part of the show almost unwatchable for me, something that has only happened on two other occasions in the last year – the Vanessa debacle, and the height of Tess’s ham-fest.

Stacy started out as a good idea.  Gigi’s sister.  Gigi’s sister who had a crush on Rex since childhood.  Fine.  Fine.  But she’s rapidly become such a repulsive character that she might as well have been written by Bob Guza (and I know general gossip has Brian Frons’ hands all over this one and the sudden descent into darkness in Llanview, which I’ll comment on in a separate post).

This is a woman who finds out her nephew has a potentially fatal disease, blackmails his grandmother in order to pass herself off as a donor match for a bone marrow transplant, and then informs her sister that she won’t donate unless the sister breaks up with her partner.  She does this on the basis that she believes the partner will then fall in love with her.  So she’s both evil and delusional.  Or, as more than one person has already pointed out – to her face – she’s psychotic.  There’s nothing redeeming about this character at all, not even the actress.

Leaving the character of Stacy aside for a moment, the story itself is just a bad idea.  

Gigi started out fine with telling Stacy where to get off, and calling her a psycho to her face, but quickly succumbed to stupidity.  The answer to this blackmail is not to fake sleeping with Brody, but to tell Rex, and then you can either fake it together – which will probably make it happen faster – or conk Stacy over the head with something really heavy and steal her goddamned bone marrow, which isn’t going to help anyway.

And even though the one twist is this I do like is the impact on Brody and Jessica’s budding relationship, Brody should not have been an enabler here.  He should have told Rex if Gigi wouldn’t.

The story leaves me with nothing but annoyance and yelling at the screen “just tell him!” over and over again.  

Though while it’s this story that’s currently bugging me, all blame doesn’t lie with OLTL.  I don’t think I’ve ever liked one of these stories.  Even one of the most classic versions of it, Days’ Steve breaks up with Kayla so that she’ll marry his dying brother Jack, still annoyed me.  There’s certainly no comparison between the writing and acting in that story and this one, but the fundamental problem remains the same: if Steve just told Kayla the truth a large amount of the problem would have gone away or could have been dealt with together.  Now, sure, that generated a lot of really good story, and I can see some of its value in retrospect, but I still disliked watching it.

This is not simply an "I like this couple, I don't want to see them broken up" issue either.  I could immensely dislike the couple and still think it's a stupid story, I just don't remember any particular examples of that off the top of my head because I tend to block those things out.

I know there needs to be conflict.  And I know that writers struggle for new ways to create conflict between happy couples that are working and that they don’t want to have cheating on each other, but I just don’t think this is the answer.  Frankly, I much prefer the old “bring a spouse we never knew about ‘back’ on to the scene” to this.  

The only other thing the OLTL story has going for it is that it’s moving damn quickly, so hopefully it’ll be over in a week and a half and I can go back to the zen state in which I’m usually able to watch this show.

Provided Stacy is removed to St Ann’s permanently, of course.  Because there’s no point to her.  There could have been, but there’s not.  Add to everything else that she’s only been around 5 minutes AND also has her grubby paws on Scott Clifton’s Schuyler AND is doing the unthinkable and making Roxie unamusing.  I just don’t understand how we’re supposed to care about Stacy at all.  I can’t care about her, I can’t even love to hate her, I just want her off my screen.  Now.

And the sooner this story is retired from soaps generally, the happier I’ll be.

01 April 2009

I'm getting dizzy again

So, Soap Digest is reporting the following turns of the casting roundabout:

GH:  Rick Hearst and Megan Ward to recurring

Y&R:  Nia Peeples out, Jess Walton staying

OLTL:  Kathy Brier and Michael Stack going

Add to that the news that Tricia Cast is returning “full time” to Y&R, and all the rumours swirling about the other potential cast drops at GH, not to mention the previous mass exodus of over 40s at Days, and I’m finding it hard to keep up.

Let’s start at Y&R.  It would appear from all the leaks and gossip floating around in the last few days that Jess Walton and the powers that be reached an impasse in negotiations which led to a walk-out and a casting call for the role.  Obviously someone eventually blinked.  I do a lot of these negotiations from the producer’s side of things in my day (and night, and weekend) job, and in my experience there’s usually a little blinking on each side and things wind up in the middle.  Regardless of what happened, I’m very pleased to see Walton continuing on as Jill.

The departure of Nia Peeples is hardly a surprise.  When I returned to watching the show recently I registered exactly the following in relation to her character: “Huh, it’s that girl from Fame”, “Neil got married again?”, “Snore”. 

As for the return of Tricia Cast, that can only be a good thing, but does have me scratching my head a little.  I was watching when Nina first joined the show, and I already knew Tricia Cast as the girl who had accused Ted Capwell of rape on

Santa Barbara. As I recall Nina was one of those fabulously evolving characters who went from trouble-making little bitch to heroine over time.  My concern is where she’ll fit into the canvas now.  Her original peer group no longer exists on the show and there’s been no real replacement of them age-wise, so it’s really just Victoria with whom she has peer group history, and her family ties to Jill and Katherine have been severed by a retcon and a deSORASing.  Which is not to say that she doesn’t still have great emotional ties, and with that whole family being thrown up in the air and tossed around again, there’s no doubt room for story.  But aside from the potential for some great talky scenes, actual story to drive those scenes isn’t immediately suggesting itself to me.  But perhaps I spent too long away from the show.   

Moving on to OLTL, I’m a little torn on this.  I really like Marcie – and Kathy Brier – but I can see they’re not doing a lot with her other than waiting for the baby-switch to play out.  I also gather that this departure may not have been a one-way decision.  And if she goes then obviously there’s no necessity for Michael Stack to stay around as the bland but inoffensive Michael, notwithstanding all the bad news he’s been delivering lately.  Also, the cast at OLTL is huge at the moment, and getting bigger this week, so some further culling is obviously in order.  So this isn’t exactly a massive shock, though I’ll be even more interested to see how the resolution of the baby-switch plays out now.

Then there’s GH.  Which continues to be absolutely incomprehensible to me on virtually every single front.  I certainly can’t watch it at the moment.  To harp on a point I have harped on many times around here; GH for me has been for years the land of missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential.  On the small stuff and on the big stuff.  And the decisions about Rick Hearst and Megan Ward (and any other similar decisions that have been mooted in recent weeks) are perfect examples of GH’s ability pile missed opportunities on unfulfilled potential and then multiply them exponentially. 

Let’s start with Megan Ward.  Obviously this has been coming for some time, since they gutted her character easily a year ago.  Kate started out, like so many things at GH, with so much promise.  And for a period there she delivered.  Sure, she was a movie rip-off, but she was a different kind of character for the show and in the early days she made Sonny interesting, and challenged him, as opposed to every other woman in his life this decade.  She also had great chemistry with Jax and could have had with any number of other people.  But sure enough, she was left in Sonny’s orbit slightly to long and became a Sonny-apologising wet blanket, and boring as hell.  And then Sarah Brown showed up, and it was only a matter of time as to when Kate would cease to have any relevance whatsoever.  The final two nails in her coffin being the complete and utter fouling up of whatever the hell they had ‘planned’ for Dante – the extent of which was obviously just Guza yelling into the writers’ room “hey, Sonny needs another kid!” - and the reuniting of Carly and Jax.  So GH takes an interesting, strong, female (gee, is that just a coincidence?) character played by a really good actress with a solid prime time career behind her, and in less than two years renders her so useless and boring that I couldn’t really care that she’s been moved to recurring.  Except, of course, for all those missed opportunities and all that wasted potential.

Last but definitely not least, we have Rick Hearst (ha, accidently typed his name as “Heart” on the first attempt).  Who, by all reports, just signed a new contract and is now bumped.  This is a multi-Emmy winning (and deservedly so, which can’t be said of everyone) actor, who has managed to roll with every single personality transplant they have given his character over the years and still make it work, and who has absolutely smoking chemistry with one of the powers that be’s designated leading ladies, and they’re bumping him to recurring?  Who can do drama and comedy and be a villain and a romantic lead, often all at once?  Who has links all over the canvas no matter how badly his character his been treated (by the writers)?  Who looks really hot in a sweater?  Recurring?  Really?

Times are tough, budgets are tight?  That's when you ditch the chaff and write for this guy, not when you bump him to recurring.

On the upside, of course, is that Hearst is a big soap name and I think could walk into, or walk back into, any other show and steal it away in a heartbeat.  Which I hope he does. 

Run, Rick.  Don’t walk, run.