Soaps By Remote

Out of Date Days Tidbit #38

I've never noticed this before, but doesn't a nondescript door behind the nurses station desk seem like an odd place for the Emergency Room?

Oh yeah, and can we keep Phillip in the t-shirts and out of the suits? Please?

Days Month in Review

Can’t say things didn’t happen in Days in February…

Colleen died
Shawn died
Kim dyed
Bo got sick and lied

Bo crashed and got shocked
Marlena got clocked
Anna and Tony rocked
John’s hair remained shocked
The crashing plane got tick-tocked

There were flashbacks that made it easier to fast-forward
And flashbacks we adored

EJ got degrees in baby-sitting and law, in roughly the same amount of time
Shawn and Belle reunited for no reason at all, and suddenly everything was fine
Lucas went to jail for something he actually did but first had to say goodbye seventy-five times
The dialogue was often as bad as these attempts at rhymes

Quitting the bad rhyming, the other points I noticed about this last month in Days:

John was snarky and it was good, though based on his post-plane crash recovery he may well now actually be the Terminator. My vote for best couple of sweeps: John and Claire. That’s a fact.

The plane crash itself was both endless and kind of fantastic, though I’ll admit that in doing the rapid catch-up I was more absorbed by what happened after the plane hit the ground because that moved the stories forward, than by the actual plane emergency. I thought most of it was well done, though I did have to note the following on the more snarky front:

- charming how the adults on the plane cuddled while leaving the child to sit all alone

- charming also how, once they found all the tents and flipping bed linen in the crashed plane, the virile and uninjured went off to have varying degrees of sex in the protected tents while the injured were left to suffer it out in the semi-exposed fuselage. While everyone back home prayed for them. And then they talked about the sex, or lack thereof, and talked, and talked, and it was bad

- Chloe’s over-breathing drove me nuts

- the way they all ended up resembling extras in a Star Wars movie was simultaneously amusing and distracting

- the configuration of the plane changed mid-scene

- Marlena’s overkill jewellery survived the crash nicely

- Victor and Caroline’s husband-isn’t-quite-dead-yet flirting with anvils hurt my head

Before they got to the crash though, the two most annoying parts of the wrap up of the Ireland story were, first, Marlena continually repeating that no one would believe what she was going to tell them next as if she’s never taken part in this show before. This is the woman with the recently dead robotic husband squiring her around; she can hardly think her companions will never believe that said husband is related to half of them. Second was them wrapping up that whole story without including Sami or EJ at all. Made no sense.

Moving on to Shawn’s death and funeral, the way they all stood around without actually telling Caroline that Shawn was dead until they rolled the body in started out feeling wrong, and ended up being a quite skilled trick of mass avoidance. Another quite skilled trick of mass avoidance: managing to have Stephanie grieve for her grandfather and Max grieve for his father while never mentioning or even alluding to the fact that those two are the same person.

As has been mentioned by many others, Days does give good funeral. Even if half the Brady family could act with their whole faces and the other half couldn’t. It was also nice that Abe was included as part of the family – he’s earned it over the years – though the fact that Ali Sweeney’s parts of the wake were clearly shot separately was kind of distracting, as was Stephanie’s mysterious absence. I’m also glad that Caroline told Victor it would be inappropriate for her to show up at her husband’s funeral on Victor’s arm, because that was exactly the note I had made about him not waiting for the body to get cold (pun intended) before hitting on her before she called him on that very point. For that piece of wisdom, I’m not sure why she’s suddenly embracing EJ though, and I cheered a little when Kim told him she was shunning him not for the sins of his family but for his own damn sins.

For the record, it was Sami’s hug of Roman while Chloe was singing at the end of the service that got me all teared up.

The big events aside, my other favourite things from the month in Days were:

- Max and Stephanie

- Johnson family chemistry shining through post-crash

- Isabella getting several mentions

- “I’m not jealous, I just think it was inappropriate for you to be flirting with Marlena’s brain damaged husband.”

- Bo’s death warmed over make-up

- “Promise me you’ll never use that metaphor again.”

- “Tony takes the term dictation to a whole new level.”

Moving forward, so far I’m pulled in to the Nutso Ava story, especially given that she seems to be focused on not only Kayla but other members of the family as well. Though I’ll be thrilled if Steve’s broken ribs heal quickly so the flailing and gasping goes away.

As for the debate over Stefano’s money, I’m not so sure. If we could not see John and Marlena every single day, I’d be pleased, and I’m not sure why John cares about the money anyway. Isn’t he a multi-billionaire? Plus, they’ve lost major points with me from day one having started about dividing up the estate of a guy who is still alive based on unexecuted Wills and making crap up. I’m a lawyer, I can’t help it. Further proof that EJ’s law degree on a can of racing car motor oil taught him absolutely nothing.

What’s your take on Days in February?

more at twiigs.com...

more at twiigs.com...

Caps courtesy Days2.

Your desk is grass

GH Monday: two largely superficial comments, a contemplation and a prop-related question.

Comment One: Tracy was absolutely radiant.

Plus, using the word “behoove” is always a positive. Mainly because where I come from it’s spelled and pronounced “behove” and “behoove” is so much more amusing on both fronts.

Comment Two: Poor Georgie. And yet, fabulous excited Georgie. They really need to make more use of her.

Contemplation: Sam and Lucky, I like what they’re doing with this now. They have a nice natural chemistry without being in any way schmoopy and I’m pleased they’ve gone down this path. The relationship definitely benefited from Kelly Monaco’s absence in that it got them a few steps away from the manipulation of earlier and I now genuinely have the sense that they’re happy to see each other without an ounce of cheese. But the main source of contemplation during Monday was that with all the kissing and touching and smiling and going to the ball, I couldn’t help thinking that it must be quite a change for Kelly Monaco over her onscreen romance of the last three years with the barely kissing, never having sex and definitely no attending of balls. Between that and the reduction of gunplay and crying, it must be a great change of pace.

Prop-related question: Why the hell does Ric have a pot of untidy grass on his desk?

Actually, one more thing. What had me noticing the odd props was this:

No, not Lily the moments-away-from-being-blown-up annoying Stepford Wife, but rather what appears to be a bust of Neptune from Sonny’s old penthouse, which I couldn’t miss while watching the recently re-aired fabulous Clink-Boom episode (which may be the subject of a separate post). How long was that thing in the penthouse, and how did I not notice it before? Also, why? Anyway, it’s put me on bad/strange prop watch, so I can’t promise there won’t be random screencaps of odd props in the coming weeks if sweeps doesn’t live up to expectations (and those expectations are low, so there’s not too much they need to do to impress me) and I am bored and distracted by random pots of grass.

Boy Band Auditions and the Spanish Inquisition

Boy Band Video:

Boy-band video meets K-mart couture meets Crocodile Dundee:

The most Marlena has moved her face in years:

I’m not even going to discuss that miraculous flight time, nor, indeed, the fact Anna’s “shoes were stuck in the sand” for longer than the total flight time. I may be forced to mention the way the Basic Black jet bears a strange resemblance to the Touch the Sky jet with a couple of corporate and convenient couches thrown in though:

But seriously, the next round of island adventures delivered some great moments. Everything Anna. Thaao Penghlis presenting a whole new old character. Marlena slobbering over someone other than John. (Though, and John.) The fact they got out of there in 1.5 episodes flat, otherwise known as the least amount of time anyone on this show has ever spent on an island. I didn’t think they were physically capable of leaving in less than a month. I am happy to be proved wrong.

“How’s little Samantha, she must be grown?”
“She’s grown, she’s married, she’s having twins.” And she has a 14 year old son. You forgot to add that bit to prove exactly how grown she is. And how old you are, Marlena.

Back in Salem we had more great Bo and Hope and the continuation of the Sami/Hope bonding. Unfortunately Sami gets awful hair in two eras:

Oh, nice job, Chelsea, and then Nick, walking off the beach and leaving that fire burning. Convenient for concussed returns later, but still not great beach etiquette.

Nice job, Sami and Lucas, interrogating the person who has clearly just been knocked out saving you from a Flower Bomb (not the perfume), which clearly wasn't all that powerful - I presume Stefano didn't actually think that would take out all Bradys - but still enough that subjecting Nick to the Spanish Inquisition is hardly going to bring him back to instant reality.

Caps courtesy Sheryl at Days 2 and NBC.

GH – Second Half of Week Wrap

“No more nut-jobs!”

That aside, do you remember the days of grown-up relationship comedy on this show? I do. It involved as least some of the characters we see today. It did not involve garden hoses. Carly, as usual, drags everyone down to her level.

Georgie and Spinelli: good. That should be the way that it works, you’ve got the other four younger characters in an odd quadrangle that as far as I’m concerned could go either way, and then you’ve got these two, friends and third wheels, putting them together should be a natural fit, and can roll into the rest of the younger set’s relationship dramas quite well. Of course it’s pretty fucking typical GH that they’re bonding over guns. Couldn’t they have bonded over, I don’t know, the fact that they’re both smart?

Is it wrong that fake-cop Elizabeth represents the most professional looking plain clothes police officer we’ve seen on this show in years? If not decades?

Diane degreasing her palm after shaking Bernie’s hand just makes me love her more. And frankly I didn’t think that was possible.

I’m not sure what was worse, Maxie’s dress, the fake red rock and wire cage night club set, the presence of Maxie’s shoulder blades in that dress or the comparative thinness of Kirsten Storms’ arms when rather hilariously patching up Logan’s wound.

Also, I’m surprised she has enough body mass to be able to hold her eyes open with those fake eye lashes.

The powers that be can stop paying me back for liking Carly for a few days there any time now. Okay, I get it, she’s just as horrible, self-centered and delusional as ever. Point noted. Stop now, please.

Almost finally, thank god Night Shift has started, because I could not have put up with any more pointless pre-show exposition. Aimless, pointless, exposition between Epiphany and a bunch of student nurses we don’t care about discussing Robin and Patrick when we could be watching Robin and Patrick who are standing right over there. And then throw some awful dialogue into their mouths as well.

Though, yay Anna! Boo Robert explanations. Boo glossing over Anna’s lack of presence in the hostage crisis. Boo them striking down both Anna and Alexis with the teenage gene in the space of two episodes (even if Anna was always a bit of a goof). I swear, if Diane starts drooling over Eli Love, or anyone else for that matter, I’ll throw something at the TV (well, computer screen in my case).

That being said, the Robin/Patrick/Anna interaction was such a vast improvement over their rest of week detour through the mountains of clunky exposition mentioned above. At least it felt a bit genuine, on a character level, if not on than a story level.

And I do wonder why they manage to set up the student nurses and random doctors and Robin and Patrick being banished to the night shift and all of that in preparation for that show, while completely forgetting that little detail of getting Jason out of jail and into the right hairstyle. But that’s more a point for my next post.

Caps courtesy Clarissa.

Islands in the Stream

Yesterday when I was out getting some exercise with my iPod headphones jammed in my ears I was assailed by the shuffle function when it threw up Kenny and Dolly singing “Islands in the Stream” into my ears.  (Why this is on my iPod is probably best not discussed.)  Needless to say, I have not been able to get it out of my head since.

Such constant references to islands swirling through my head (ah ah), lead thoughts, inevitably, to Days of Our Lives and its apparent obsession with island living (ah ah).

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it around here before, but I first really started watching Days when a group of characters got stranded on a tropical island.  Sure, I’d seen some of the show before, watching with my mother in the school holidays, back so long ago that she was still a housewife and I was still enough of a good Catholic schoolgirl that she had difficultly trying to explain to me exactly how Marie Horton was a nun who had a child.  But I really started watching on my own when a bunch of people, including Bo, Hope and Tony, were stranded on Stefano’s island and when Roman, real Roman, disappeared and was presumed dead for the first time.

With thanks to the wonderful Beth’s Days Page, I can determine that this was November sweeps 1984, and there was a volcano involved.

The volcano I don’t recall.  Sadly although I don’t recall that I do remember Tony’s insipid “exotic” island girlfriend Jasmine.  Even then I found that part of the story hilarious.  Of course, Calliope was also on the island, so there was intentional humour to go with the unintentional.  I also remember Roman falling off the cliff after his fight with Stefano and “dying” in Bo’s arms on the beach.  You know why I remember that?  Because it was all done on location.  Actual location.  The early island scenes were likely on exactly the same set as is being used today, but the climactic ending included, if I recall correctly, helicopter shots and rolling surf.

At the time it felt like it went on forever – I obviously wasn’t a trained soap viewer then (my GH watching dates back to around 1978, but it was shown several years behind here in Aus, so I saw 1978 GH after 1984 Days, and found the clothing appropriately hilarious from my 1980’s teen high fashion horse.  Pot, kettle, etc.) – but in reality it was about three weeks.  And I was hooked.  I could, in fact, blame that damn island for me being in this place at this moment when I could instead be doing something far more productive.  But yet here we are.

While Hope was busy being stung by stingrays and Tony was entertaining his island girlfriend, back in Salem Shane and Kim were beginning and Pete was sleeping with Melissa’s mother and in order to establish my viewing habits for a lifetime I was mentally if not actually fast-forwarding the whole Neil/Liz/Carlo triangle and all it’s skeeviness (I seem to recall my mother liked that story for some reason.  That reason may have been Y&R’s Don Diamont, pre-denim hot pants around the Abbott pool, playing Carlo).

But really, it was a fun story.  It got me hooked.  Damn sweeps.

Obviously, I had no comprehension then that after those three weeks they took the sand and the fake palm trees and stored them out the back of the studio in a warehouse with a strange discount plan that gets them free storage if they bring the sand and fake trees out every two years or so for airing under the hot studio lights.

This most recent island “adventure” somewhat snuck up on us.  When Belle, Shawn and Claire washed up somewhere in the South Pacific and built the worst lean-to ever, I, stupidly, didn’t expect them to still be there, with a bunch of glorified extras, 6 weeks later.  But yet, here we are.  And with it the show – despite its numerous improvements in the last nine months – has hit a new low.  A new island low.  They have proved that even though they still have to take the sand out of storage every couple of years to get their discount, they really truly have run out of island stories.

And, frankly, it’s no wonder.

After their late 1984 island success, they took a break.  They had stories for a couple of years that didn’t require sand and fake palm trees.  That didn’t require rehashing.  But in early 1987 Marlena found herself on a tropical island, kidnapped by Orpheus.  However, with 20-20 hindsight, none of us were upset with a return of an island because Marlena was stuck there alone and most of the time we didn’t have to watch her.  (I’m projecting backwards, aren’t I?  And showing my bias towards the then beginning Roman/Diana (aka John/Genie Francis) pairing.  Ah well.)

Then, of course, in 1990, the Cruise of Deception threw a whole new group, plus the island-experienced Bo and Hope, on to a whole new island and the sand and fake palms were joined by a new island set:  the Cave of Stuck Zippers and Miraculous Disaster Surviving Birth Control.  Some time before that Stefano kidnapped Carrie and Benjy to some island of his too.

All of that was obviously enough to put them off for a while, but in 1996 Kate washed up on an island.  By this point I was not watching.  Between 1990 and 1996 many things happened, but the most significant was that I got word that Marlena was going to be possessed by the devil and on the back of Kayla/Shane my heart and incredulity could not take it and I quit in anticipation (I actually quit late 1993-ish, I believe, but because we got the show so far behind, I already knew the possession was going to happen, and Jack was gone, so what was the point?).  I really didn’t return in earnest, or really at all, until last year.  However, I do know that returns to islands were made again in early 2000, summer 2001 and, of course, the notorious mirror Salem island of 2004.  And now, again and some more, in early 2007.

Plus I probably missed a few.

I’m thinking that it’s time to retire that sand.  I’m thinking it must be getting a bit musty by now.  Though not as musty as the stories.  I know they can’t alternate fake island adventures with location trips to Mexico or Greece or New Orleans or even UCLA any more, and that their recent forays into the snow resulted in random encounters with overly-botoxed Smokey Robinsons, but really, couldn’t they come up with something else?  Please?

They can leave Shawn and Belle and Claire and Claire’s bows where they are, of course.  We just don’t need to see them.

I’m going back to Kenny and Dolly now (ah ah).

End of Week Wrap

Other observances for the week:

A couple of Alexis/Patrick scenes. Hmmm. Did anyone else go there? And think happy, hot thoughts? Even for a moment? Before the triple reality hit of (a) the joy of Robin/Patrick; (b) the mandate that Alexis can never be happy; and (c) the fact the powers that be would never think of it in the first place and wreck it if they did.

Which spins off another question regarding the whereabouts of Natalia Livingston. I’m going to assume she’s on holidays given Emily’s mysterious disappearance from the wedding and the fact that it would make some sense for Patrick to be having at least some of those conversations with Emily. Not that I necessarily miss her. I’m just wondering.

There was also a look on Robin’s face during Friday that seemed to be Kimberly McCullough saying “I cannot believe I have to say these lines”, which I could understand and appreciate. Sadly, I think she’s in for more of it, given all evidence suggests that we’re already stuck in a JERk-era Days-style repetitive dialogue and scene loop with Nikolas, Robin and Craig and there’s no immediate prospect of getting out of it.

On other fronts, while marypickford has been noting Days recent references to history, we seem to have a lot of it being chucked around Port Chuck in the last week or so too.

Let’s see, we’ve had Skye calling Carly out on stealing Michael from AJ – a couple of references to that in a week after Jason’s little crypt-side speech, and none of them positive. Remarkable.

We’ve had Sonny reference Lorenzo’s brother (and yet no reaction to “Barrett” at all. I’d like to clarify my comments on that, while I’m on the subject: Barrett’s a common name, I don’t want Jax or Sonny to say “hey, are you related to the love of our collective lives?”, I do want them to have a double-take of the “hey, that reminds me of the love of our collective lives” kind and then move on. Much the same way Alexis did a double-take on seeing Scott on Friday but didn’t say anything.)

We also had Sonny mention Faith and, essentially, his complete abusiveness to women. While threatening a woman, naturally. (Side note: I have not one iota of sympathy for Skye in this entire situation. I do have a great deal of sympathy for Robin Christopher who is clearly suffering from the post-maternity leave character assassination shaft.)

We’ve had Lulu bringing up the fact that she was ill as a child and required a bone marrow transplant and that’s how they discovered that Laura had Nikolas. Which, first, nice and relevant reference. Second, that hopefully means that they won’t then repeat the story with baby Webber-Quartermaine-Morgan-Spencer. (Yeah, yeah, I’m delusional, I know.)

We’ve had Nikolas bring up the fact that he cheated on Emily and pretty recently too, and that he would be an asshole to do it again.

I don’t know where I’m falling on all of this except that I’m glad that they do remember history, good, bad and indifferent, I just wish they’d use it in more significant ways. I also like the small turning of the tide of white-washing certain past and current events. I don’t expect it to last, but I can appreciate it when I hear it.

Speaking of which: “It’s getting harder to tell the good guys from the bad guys around here.” Getting? Getting ?!!! Though the fact that it was referenced twice in two days was kind of remarkable. And depressing. If they can see it, couldn’t they please do something about it. But I’m not going off on that tangent again. I’ve done enough of that in the last couple of weeks so I’m going back to being distracted and possibly hypnotised by Carly’s top and all the balloons that the set decorators obviously put up in the Metro Court restaurant with no regard to camera position at all.

Not enough time in the Girl Scouts

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, Shawn-Douglas Brady’s aunt and uncle-to-be crashed a plane into the side of a mountain while on the run from Shawn’s grandfather, among others. Before they were rescued half by a gloriously tacky honeymoon hotel and half by the unlikely combination of “Bonnie Lockhart” and Ned Ashton, they were forced to shelter from some violent storms using only what they had around them.

Shawn-D’s aunt was, and we trust still is, the resourceful type and had spent some time in the Girl Scouts (useless trivia: they’re called Girl Guides where I come from), so she was able to build a neat lean-to next to the plane using a few branches and bits and pieces just lying around. They were nicely, cutely, hotly sheltered from the storms.

20 years later (god, I’m old), the intrepid Shawn-D finds himself washed up on a tropical island with his non-girlfriend and their child, having somehow managed to loose his shirt in the surf because all surf I have ever seen strips off shirts before anything else.

He does, to his credit, see the need to provide some shelter, and his spoiled princess (though rapidly learning) non-girlfriend eventually starts to help. However, it is immediately obvious that neither of them spent any time in the Girl Scouts because they elect to built not so much a lean-to as a two storey carport, with three open sides, which must, by definition, leave them all soaking wet when they sit under it unless, by some strange meteorological phenomenon, the storm blows from inland, directly behind them

Witness:

For some reason, throughout this whole island adventure, I have had this incessant tune playing in my head. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is or why it won’t go away. It’s something about a three hour tour. And for some really strange reason – maybe I’m just nuts like Steve, EJ, Willow, Phillip and Marlena – I keep having visions of an exercise bike made entirely of coconuts.

Hmmm.

Screencap courtesy Sheryl's Days 2.

A new category is born

We pay attention to bad clothes around here, but sometimes it’s the things surrounding the hot men in jeans and black turtlenecks that stand out.

That “bowling alley” set for Kendall and Zach’s Valentine’s Day? Perhaps the worst set ever, and I watch a lot of soaps, so I’ve seen my fair share of bad fake palm trees-trucked in sand-dessert island on stage 4 sets. What was it meant to be? A bowling alley Zach had built in the casino bar? The casino bowling alley? Whatever it was, it was mighty distracting.

Also, a joint funeral for a (until recently) beloved long term character and a character who is not actually dead? No respect for Dixie there powers that be.