Soaps By Remote

Dumb Plans 'R Us

One Life to Live was all about the dumb plans last week.  From the monumental and complex, to the mind-bogglingly brainless.

Todd's multi-layered plan of delusion is, of course, rather awful.  With its elements of baby-napping, imprisonment of a rape victim, and strange concept of Happily Ever After.  But the more people that become involved in it - the Doctor, Janet, Tess - the more it seems destined to fail.  Not to mention that given Todd faked the death of one his children before, any idea he has that Blair's going to take the death of her grandchild at face value in these circumstances is clear proof of his level of delusion.  So the only question for me here is exactly what's going to happen to him when all this comes undone?  Which can be left for another day.

That dumb plan, however, provided no amusement.  Gigi and Marcie's plan to sneak Gigi into see Rex was far, far more laugh-worthy.  Generally in a good way.  And mainly because of Roxie and Charlie pointing out how silly it was.

Charlie: “Wait, the idea is that no one is supposed to recognise you?”
Roxie: “Because it still looks an awful lot like you.”

Gigi: “You hate it.”
Charlie:  “No…It just seems that your plan kind of…”
Roxie: “Sucks. I don’t think you could get into a first aid kit dressed like that.”
It’s rarely that Roxie takes the words right out of my mouth, but in this case she totally did.

Roxie: “Ever feel like the universe has it in for you?”
Charlie: “On a daily basis, yeah.”
Okay, so that last one had nothing to do with the plan, but it was Charlie's almost under the breath delivery of that last line that was so great.

Then there was Tina's "plan" to blow the safe with dynamite in order to rescue the Crown Jewels of Mendorra which was so utterly dumb that it doesn't even deserve the title "plan".  When Tess of the locking people in the basement is calling you Wyle E. Coyote and perhaps being generous in the description, there's definitely a problem.  Of course, Tess then started dumb plan #346; aka take the dynamite and maybe blow up the basement under her mother's house.  Dumb.

Also in the dumb plan stakes: Adriana keeping Rex in Dorian's living room.  But at least that was short term.

So, if OLTL to give up on both the false imprisonment and the dumb plans, that would be great.  Unless the dumb plans are actually funny, of course.

Character Poll: John Black

In the second of our character polls, another polarising character (see what I did there?):

poll by twiigs.com

Night Shift, Season 2, Episode 13 (2)

Not so many tears this time around, which was good because I didn’t need to go out crying from a series that wound up delivering so much good soap .  I much preferred to go out smiling, as I did here.

This episode was really two separate shows in one.  The first show was the five odd minutes with the aftermath of the bombing and the well-built tension between the bomb defusing and Saira reviving.

Unfortunately I think it was then let down a bit by the complete sapping of that tension in favour of a startlingly quick wrap-up of the bomb/suit against Patrick plot and a sweep straight into the second show of the evening: the wrap up.

I didn’t have any problem with the wrap-up itself, just the transition to it.

Some of the tying up of loose ends was a bit neat/predictable, but I would much rather they tied them up than left them hanging.

First, Kyle and Claire, finished off as expected in all respects, but sweet nevertheless.

And Kyle and Leo wound up in an equally predicable, but no less sweet place.  It’s just a pity that they had to completely cut Leo’s personality to shreds at the beginning of the series to wind up bringing him around back to human again with both Saira and his brother.  I’m still of the view that the whole series would have been much better had they not made this character “Leo Julian” and instead started with someone new.

I think they short-changed the Toussaint has a son story throughout this.  Obviously I didn’t even remotely watch the whole first season, but this was groundwork that was laid then, yes?  So why the story got all of about three minutes in this series, with most of it in the last episode, I’m not sure.  And I didn’t care much about it because I’d been given nothing to work with.

For Jagger and Robert I appreciated that they gave them out of town stories, if only to save me from having to ask, futilely, why they’re not in certain upcoming stories or attending a certain wedding during the Day Shift.  Well, I’ll probably still ask that, but not in a “but they’re in town, they should be here!” kind of way.  And they left the doors wide open in both their various relationships to have them come back should pigs start flying backwards through an icy hell and regular GH starts being run by smart people again.

I also loved where Anna and Robert wound up.  I loved that they got their relationship back, but that they didn’t send them off together in some mushy way that wouldn’t have felt right, and would have only given the Day Shift the ammunition with which to decimate their relationship again by having Anna come back straight away and say it all failed because Robert was an ass.

They got Patrick nicely, and reasonably, out of a job he never should have had in the first place, gave him and Robin a bed for the first time in years, and left them argument-free and sweet as always.  All in time for the Day Shift to wreak whatever hell they have planned for their wedding and the birth of their child.

So, let’s leave this series that was imperfect but exceeded all expectations with some happy pictures from the finale.  Well done, Night Shift, well done.

Caps courtesy LiznJase.

Notes from the dark side

I would like to sum up last week’s GH with the following commentary, exactly as recorded while watching:

- shut up Sonny

- yay for an Aunt Ruby mention.  Bonus for Lucky making such mention while wearing a black wife-beater

- please keep truth-talking Olivia, I think I love you

- I definitely love Maxie, the best wedding planner ever

- yay for the girls pointedly recognising Mac as their main parent throughout the time they were growing up

- shut up people talking about Sonny

- “With all due respect Coleman: Memorial Wing.”

- “Please don’t say things like that to me again, I still have a bad heart.”

- Coleman is the best/worst Best Man ever.  Robin agrees:

Character Poll: Sonny Corinthos

With GH having employed an All Sonny, All the Time policy in the last couple of weeks, I have been inspired to (a) bash my head against a brick wall; (b) fast forward; and (c) institute a new feature: the Character Poll.

Your thoughts about various characters from various shows will be sought from time to time based on my whims.  But we must start with the man on the minds and lips of every single citizen of Port Chuck who doesn't work the Night Shift.  So:

poll by twiigs.com

Ding dong

I gather that Babe being crushed under a bar is All My Children’s tribute to the crushing of the Wicked Witch of the East under a house, and that Bianca turning up on the same day was not coincidental in that regard.

Yes, I succumbed to the temptation of The Tornado.  

I haven’t watched All My Children since the Spike is deaf/Ian is born ridiculously immature period – I think it was a combination of the general crappiness of the show and the relentless darkness around Zach and Kendall who were the only ones who had kept me watching for some time, that did it.

But this week I watched the whole week.  Coming in just for the big bang isn’t particularly useful if you haven’t seen the state of characters relationships in the lead up, in my view.

Upon returning I found that I still do not care about Ryan and Greenlee.  Not at all, in any way, shape or form.  And that they spent the first half of the storm actually believing that the weather was ALL ABOUT THEM was so typical.  At least it was acknowledged later that that was outrageously arrogant, so I have some hope (especially combined with all the references to the fact that Ryan was an A Grade asshole the last time they were married), but not very much.  Especially not while Kendall continues to play cheerleader.  Blurg.

Annie is annoying to an extreme level that she never used to be.  While I skipped a bit, to me it seems that her character transition has gone from nice-with-doormat-tendencies through totally-crazy and now on to annoying-paranoid.  And Aiden should go back to doing the light stuff – or you know, nothing but looking pretty - and never, ever have to try and emote.  Ever.

They could not possibly have laid it on any thicker with Babe and JR, but at least that will be going away shortly, so I’ll leave it alone.  

Otherwise the build-up was fine.  Anything that puts Erica and Adam together is good, as is any Slater family time.  On that note, I’m glad Kendall said no to another kid right now. I know that anvil is for what’s to come this week, but after her last two pregnancies there’s no way she should be ready to have another kid for at least ten years.

When it came to the storm itself, I thought the VFX were really pretty good.  Now I’m watching low res on a small screen, which may have helped, but it worked for me.  The build-up of the clouds in the backgrounds to various scenes, especially the Ryan-Greenlee ones where I was paying more attention to the changing light in the sky than I was to them, were great and appropriately menacing.   And the little cut backs to the wind chimes and the porch swing etc help build things up nicely.

And then the twister itself, picking up Zach’s car and dumping it, was pretty damn cool.

Then they topped it off by not skimping on the debris.  The bar, the beach house, that gazebo-y thing, plus the site of Zach’s car:  shredded.  

So, all in all, I thought they did a great job production-wise, and yes, I will be tuning in on Monday.  Because I am a sucker.  And Bianca's back and about to give birth, so one has to see how that's going to play out.

Oh, and Natalia, your father doesn’t want to leave town and visit your mother tonight because of the tornadoes, and the sirens, and that he’s chief of police, and that it is unsafe for anyone but the scored spouses of Ryan and Greenlee to be outside, not because he’s trying to avoid it or slight you.  Someone that self-centred and unaware should be thrown into a triangle with the aforementioned R&G just to see if it creates a blackhole of self-centered-ness that eats the town.

And finally, I couldn’t get a decent screencap, but do Greenlee’s hands have a mind of their own that leads them to do homicidal crazy things if they are not encased in their own private straight-jackets?  Every top Rebecca Budig was wearing this week had sleeves down to the tips of her fingers, and the one from the first half of the week had her hands tied up in mini-straight jackets.  Apropos of nothing.

Night Shift Season 2, Episode 13 (1)

I’d say they had me at the opening credits but, let’s face it, they had me well before that.

Referring to history doesn’t have to be as literal as this, but god it’s fun when it is.

Recreating the first time Robin and Robert met, down to the dress, the sandwiches and the funky stairs in that apartment was genius.  

And putting Anna in her wedding dress from their first wedding – thankfully not the pink monstrosity from their second – with the bouffant hair she wore for so long.  

Bringing back Sean and Tiffany, and adding Luke and Mac to the gang of Robert’s intervention of the sub-conscious.  Mentioning Holly.  Throwing in the right mixture of comedy and drama and easy friendship that always made this group work so well and always had me as a fan.

And then, on top, having Robin sit on his bed and talk to him and have me in even more tears than last week. Have to pause the show so I can recover enough to watch the next bit and not miss anything tears.

I couldn't have asked for anything more, especially as Robert woke up in the end.  I figured he would, but if he had have died I can't say I would have been disappointed with this as a send off.  It was the right mixture of nostalgia, fun and genuine emotion. 

As usual, Luke got all the best lines:
Robert: “I’m not dead yet.”
Luke: “You might as well be, you’re starting to rot from the inside.  They had to gut you like a fish.”

Luke: “You remember my hair in 1985?”
Anna: “God, do you remember mine?”

Speaking of hair in 1985:

The rest of the episode was pretty damn good too.  I think they picked the right tone for the finale with no patient of the week, but rather a building of other stories (although the Toussaint stuff was out of place, mainly because there needed to be more of it to actually constitute a story).

Patrick’s concern for Robin and the baby at the threat was better this week, what I felt was lacking last week.  And his lack of confidence and not wanting to operate was just at the right level.  Depressed and matter-of-fact, but not all woe-is-me martyrdom.

I wasn’t surprised by Claire’s resignation, and that was a good thing.  A sign that they’d built up her ambivalence to her career, on top of the disaster of her personal life, throughout the series.  Her scenes with Leo – suddenly a human – and Eric, were both great.

While Antonio Sabato should never try to cry onscreen, the Jagger-Saira hook-up proved even more what I’d thought previously; they should have gone with that pairing through the series instead of the horrible Saira-Leo thing.

Also, glad to see Jagger working so hard to protect the hospital.

No wonder a dumpster got blown up.

I’m looking forward to next week, I’m glad Robert’s awake, and I’ll leave you with this from head writer Sri Rao from his interview with Nelson Branco – which, having watched this week in particular, should come as no surprise:

“I grew up on General Hospital. It is the show I’ve watched the most in my life. I started watching at eight years old, and religiously tuned in for 15 years. In recent years, I’ve drifted in and out, but I always kept tabs on it.

When ABC approached me, I was surprised, because this gig wasn’t something I sought out. I never considered writing for daytime TV, but when they called, it was perfect. It really was a dream come true. As a fan, it’s like being given the keys to the candy store. I think every fan head-writes a soap in their head at one point or another. And I actually got to do it. It was a huge thrill. And a lot of fun.”

We can tell, and we’re kind of thrilled.  Now, if only there were a few more writers out there like that who were actually allowed to write the soaps, there might be life left in this genre yet.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure he wrote that line on GH Day Shift last week when Robin mentioned her Catholic Grandmother Philomena.

Caps courtesy LiznJase.

General Hospital: Most of Two Days in Review

Okay, so, for the love of Robin and Patrick and engagements and babies, I have dived head first back into General Hospital, which I haven’t watched in months.  Turns out, unsurprisingly, that diving head first into such a shallow pool can cause serious injury.

Thus, with last Friday’s episode I was immediately greeted by the attempted farce of Max, Jason et al trying to convince Max’s father than Max is actually the mob boss and Jason his bodyguard in the face of an onslaught of Carly.  I was immediately rendered unconscious and had to wait some time to regain my head and check for brain damage before I could start watching again.  After fast-forwarding through the rest of that scene.  And the rest of everything else to do with that “story” for the rest of that and every other episode except where Maxie is involved.

And then I discovered I’d started a day late in terms of the actual Robin and Patrick engagement and had to go back.

At which point I was faced with this:

and felt immediately at home.  Frankly, I think a big part of the reason I got so bored with GH earlier in the year was because Carly had been dressing normally for months and half the glory was gone from the world.

Whatever she was aruging with Jax and Nikolas over, naturally I don’t care about.  Though there was a good line in there about how she would be petty enough to take revenge by selling out the hotel, just not in this case.  I was also, I’ll admit, rather pleased to discover that after all this time and numerous mutual wedding/party attendances they finally remembered that Jax and Carly essentially kidnapped Spencer in the not all that distant past and that therefore none of these three people should like each other.

As for Jerry going around injecting snoopy nurses with drugs, glad to see his character has grown and improved.

I also skipped all the stuff between Kate and Sonny, because I don’t really care about whatever lead up to Kate being shot.  Again.  And yeah, Sonny, you deciding to go back to the mob ain’t no big dramatic pronouncement.

Then, finally, halfway through the damn episode, we got back to the reason I was watching in the first place.  Loved Mac's little intervention, and his anticipation of Robin's reaction to it, was so sweet and a perfect Mac over-reaction, but charmingly deliberate in this case.  And it resulted in 1, 2, 3, Awww.

Returning then to Friday, and continuing on a sunny (as opposed to Sonny) theme, October 29th is a lovely day for Robin and Patrick to get married.  Nothing like walking down the aisle 10.1 months pregnant.  And shouldn’t she have a c-section scheduled because she’s less likely to pass on the HIV that way?  I’m pretty sure I learned that from…an episode of Night Shift maybe?  Definitely not this show.  But really, once they got over any cack-handed talk of Sonny Spawn, the 1, 2, 3 "Before" was also super cute.

Speaking of Sonny Spawn, I do like Olivia though.  Pity she has to be the mother of even more said Spawn. 

Of course, it goes without saying: shut up Sonny.

I also like Ric and Claudia.  Pity we didn’t get to follow them upstairs though. 

And Sam and Lucky.

All of which shows, again, what’s wrong with this show.  The stuff that’s good, and light, and fun, and romantic – Robin/Patrick, Sam/Lucky – gets no time.  In place we get the guns and drudgery.  They don’t even need to totally get rid of the mob, they just need to give us some goddamned balance!  Yes, yes, this is me beating a dead horse.  While banging my head against a brick wall.  And thanking the soap gods every day for Maxie Jones.

Next up: this week’s wedding plans.

Caps courtesy Laurie.

Reilly

For whatever James E Reilly's later turn at Days became - and I'll leave that aside for now - I cannot for a moment deny that his first stint at Days turned out some true fabulousness. 

Sure, it was also during this period that I turned away from Days after a decade's solid watching because I couldn't quite accept the demonic possession for its true worth, but there was a lot of great stuff.

Jamey over at Daytime Confidential has put together a few clips of Reilly's Greatest Hits from that period, which is totally worth checking out. 

Go do it.

Is False Imprisonment a Fetish?

Commenter dande first alerted me to this on this post, but once it was mentioned the pattern became so obvious I couldn’t believe I’d missed it.  

Ron Carlivati has some kind of obsession with false imprisonment.

And it’s just getting worse.

Tess is still holding Natalie in the basement, and Jared’s going to join her before she gets out.  Tina and David Vickers were in there previously.

Marty is a prisoner of Todd, and was previously a prisoner of Ramsey, even if she doesn’t realise it.

All of Talia, Sarah, Antonio, Cristian, Tina and Cain were imprisoned in Mendorra and then Talia was forced to get married and stay there against her will.

Cristian went pretty much from one false prison to the next in Colombia.

Shane was kidnapped by Brody, even if he doesn’t know it.

Now Adriana is now holding Rex against everyone but her own will.

Then you add Ray, who was, Brody, who is, and Tess, who likely will be, rightfully incarcerated…  And Dorian spent a night in jail for contempt of Court.

And that’s all in the last couple of months.  It’s a little mad.  Perhaps focusing on those who are rightfully imprisoned, which is something most soaps don’t do enough, and setting everyone else free, would be a good idea for a while.  Just a suggestion.