Soaps By Remote

A Sliver of Positivity

I will admit that I could be a little interested in Nikolas and Claudia.

If it wasn’t dragging Nikolas into the mob.

And if Nikolas had noted that he had plenty of experience watching people get stitched up with fishing line when he was ministering to Claudia’s stab wound. And if I didn’t already like Nikolas and Nadine.

Though, I further admit that a triangle between those three could also be interesting and a bit different. The bad girl, the complicated wounded guy, the good but non-doormat girl.

But seriously, it’s a little unexpected, which is remarkable given the level of predictability on this show recently. The pairing of Sarah Brown with someone she wasn’t paired with last time around took more creative thinking than I thought anyone currently involved with this show was capable of. That it also generated chemistry was pure bonus.

I readily await the powers that be rendering that as unwatchable as almost everything else on this show.

On a side note: at least they gave Luke a Tony Geary Vacation exit story this time, even if letting Luke out on bail was such an obvious problem that no-one was taking it seriously. First you have Tracy and Lucky in particular unable to keep a straight face while Alexis, also struggling not to laugh out loud, decreed that Luke wasn’t a flight risk. Then there was Lucky pragmatically informing Lulu that Luke was about to take off so she’s better get a word in quick if she wanted one. I am, however, beyond pleased that Tracy went with him this time.

Finally, on another side note, this one to Sonny: even on this show occasionally karma’s a bitch, in case you and your meat-hook-hanging, sign-over-your-kid-or-else threatening ass didn’t notice already.

Finally, finally, did anyone else get a glimpse for a moment of the real Anna Devane last Friday when she showed up in a suit being vaguely sensible, before they had her over-compensating in two different directions? You know, interesting, quirky but responsible, smart yet a little flakey, resourceful and adventurous but not insane Anna Devane Scorpio Lavery Scorpio who I adored for years as a opposed to lunatic Anna? That may be the subject of a future essay, I think, if only because it will give me the excuse to go back and watch lots of 1980s Anna. And Robert. And Sean, and Duke, and Tiffany, and Frisco, and Felicia...

The tradition (apparently) continues

Oooh, the Crown Jewels of a Fake Soap Opera Country!

A FSOC which apparently has historical relevance to the show and yet is fitting into current stories. Nicely done OLTL. Is the ruler of said country an evil mastermind or a spineless fop?

On the other hand, I could have done without a couple more days of Manning Family Mania and Teen Pregnancies R Us. It was not actually necessary for that story to be featured on both Wednesday and Thursday given there was a neat non-cliff-hanger ending on Tuesday. A little bit of a break would be appreciated. Or at least they could have given it one day alternated with the post-wedding fall-out.

I still haven’t had time to immerse myself in OLTL history, but I gather that no one likes this Bo and Lindsay relationship. All I can say is that it looks spectacularly awkward to me, and not just because of the work Catherine Hickland appears to have had done, but I invite you all to show off your knowledge on both that topic and Mendorrian history by filling me in in the comments.

Ramsey and Antonio setting up Talia to take the fall for the theft of the jewels was nice because it added a layer of ambiguity. Antonio wanted to tell Talia what was going on, but executed the plan anyway and showed no signs that even if he had been able to tell her he wouldn’t have gone through with it. Conflict.

Jared, Natalie and David continue to entertain, though by Thursday’s ep I was staring to lose patience with the “we’re about to be caught hiding David” excuses. The overall drama of who to tell when remains interesting, but the slap-stick should only come in small doses.

One Life to Live – Week and a Half in Review

Episode titles: The One in the Middle, A Lyin’ in Winter, I Missed the Beginning of Wednesday’s Episode (not the actual title), Mothers of Invention, Beached, The Bride Wore Boxing Gloves, and Alive and Kicking.

This week and a half has been delightfully soapy, not to mention actual fun.

Sweeps on soaps aren’t meant to be about CGI, or, heaven forbid, toxic limo sex. They’re meant to be about other kinds of climaxes. The culmination of some stories, the start or others, about bringing things to a head in one form or another. The births, deaths and marriages.

So a week and a half where we have the wedding of two thirds of a triangle with a number of different machinations going on around that, the culmination of a teens on the run story with much drama, and the hilarious return of a rogue, is a pretty much perfect sweeps mix. I’m not saying it’s ground-breaking or wholly unpredictable or anything like that. And over the last week and a half there have been some heavy anvils. But even with that, it’s just plain entertaining. I really don’t want anything more.

As promised pretty much everything about David Vickers is fun. The immediate description I have for him is Impish. I don’t even know most of the history they’re referring to and I’m still enjoying it. Ongoing banter between David and Jared and poncy Nigel hanging out at the Buchanans talking about booze and caviar was fun, but also a bit depressing. Depressing in that it reminded me of the old, bitter but light-hearted banter around the Quartermaine fireplace – like the time Edward get Uncle Whatshisname’s ashes in an urn on the mantle that he used as an ashtray – which no longer exist even though they really, really should. Smart banter, a little slapstick, some romance. Good fun.

Plus the good lines. “The next generation of con artists is so disappointing.” “Back on his feet? What feet? He’s a parasite.” “Supermodel Crime Club.” Hee. And I loved the entirely matter-of-fact way Jared knocked David out, and the equally matter-of-fact way Natalie held the pitchfork on him. That little throwaway was nice.

Then we have the drama. The triangle in which both the women are lying to everyone and the guy is lying to himself, culminating in a wedding that the bride’s mother is trying to manipulate in about nine different ways. And yet, yet, no one - particularly not the women - comes off as unsympathetic. Remarkable. The overall situation, including Brody showing up (somewhat obviously) in dress uniform as if he were about to sweep Gigi up and carry her out of the church with his cap on her head to the strains of Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes, was classic soap, but the fun for me was in the details. The sisterly moment between Adriana and Langston prior to the wedding. Gigi’s “Rex, please don’t make me your cold feet.” Dorian giving Langston advice as to how to stand in her dress for the wedding. The way the wedding photographer’s flash went off as Adriana hit Gigi - Adriana’s reaction, for all her own scheming was, of course, perfectly justified. Marcie and Gigi bursting out in hysterical laughter after the first wedding interruption. Really, in all of this it's Rex that comes off worst because he can't really make a decision, even in choosing to get married, but I can kind of understand that too.

I do have a question though. Judging by her hair in the flashback, did Gigi get pregnant in 1976? Though I guess that might explain Boxey’s current hair style.

As for the pregnant runaway teens, the continuation of Todd as being completely self-centered and in utter denial about everything from his overall relationship with his family to the consequences of pushing his daughter down the stairs is rather interesting. If only in that he’s now very much in a corner – or jail cell – on his own and how do they then bring the character around to being someone who can have a relationship with anyone else? We shall see.

But in this story it’s Blair who really rocks. Not only was her entirely sympathetic reaction to Starr’s pregnancy both cool and understandable given she’d been through so much stress with a missing child that any anger over that child being pregnant went out the window, but the way she dealt with Todd, ultimately calling the police, was a lovely touch. I may have let out a little "yes!" at that one.

Plus:
“What’s your problem? Why are you so mad at me?”
“You want my list?”!

Drama, comedy, drama. That’s the balance I like. Don't need a whole lot more.

Now, if anyone can point me in the direction of a site or two that does OLTL screencaps, I would appreciate it. Because I really need visual aids to deal adequately with those wedding outfits.

A Matter of Taste

It’s been a while since we’ve had a poll around here. So, Days has been serving up recently some couples who are, when reduced to writing, completely unpalatable.

A niece and her not-related-by-blood-but-related-in-every-other-
sense-of-the-word uncle.

A rape victim and her rapist.

A vulnerable college student and her forty-something doctor.

A sarcastic automaton and his 60-ish gasping ingénue sort-of wife. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

And yet, thanks in large part to chemistry, for a lot of people some of these couples are working. Working so well that some parts of the audience can entirely get over the inherent downright ickiness of the pairings. And other parts of the audience can’t.

For me, I got over the problems with Stephanie and Max pretty much as soon as they parachuted out of that plane last summer. But I still have significant issues which I may or may not be able to overcome with Sami and EJ, and I actively dislike Chelsea and Daniel.

What about you?

more at twiigs.com...

more at twiigs.com...

Dreck. Utterly Predictable Dreck

So, here we are.

A mere 6 weeks ago, Michael Corinthos was shot and I made a series of predictions about what Guza’s idea of consequences would be. Let’s see what they were:

“…Jason will probably break-up with Elizabeth and get further imbedded in mob life. They’ll either eventually get back together because she gives in and becomes Carly, or their relationship with fall thwarted by the wayside as Guza decides he’s bored with it again. Sonny will sulk for a while, Carly will screech for a while, and in the end Jax and Kate will be to blame and their relationships will get thrown under a bus (actually, that one I’ll be happy about), leaving room for Sonny and Carly Version 236.0. Maybe all relationships will get thrown under that bus in favour of a Sonny-Claudia-Jason triangle of gunplay. And Michael will either disappear for SORASing, or will wake up in a few months once the whole shooting thing has been completely forgotten with no ill-effects, physical or psychological. Painful, and boring.”

Let’s break that down:

- Jason will probably break-up with Elizabeth – check
- and get further imbedded in mob life – check, with more to come apparently
- They’ll either eventually get back together because she gives in and becomes Carly, or their relationship with fall thwarted by the wayside as Guza decides he’s bored with it again - jury is still out
- Sonny will sulk for a while – check
- Carly will screech for a while - check
- their relationships will get thrown under a bus – still in progress
- leaving room for Sonny and Carly Version 236.0 – check
- Maybe all relationships will get thrown under that bus in favour of a Sonny-Claudia-Jason triangle of gunplay – well, they’ve certainly been toying with this, while also chemistry testing Sarah Brown with every guy in town, so the jury is still out
- And Michael will either disappear for SORASing - check
- Painful, and boring – CHECK

If only I had added “we won’t see the Qs at all in this story” I’d be at about 100% accuracy. Which is not a reflection on my skill but rather the writers’ lack of skill and imagination.

And it just goes on. Jason and Elizabeth continue to do the come here-go away dance of boredom (and I like them as a couple, yet I’m still bored), Jason continues to kill people, Jax and Kate toy with each other and us. And now, of course Carly’s slept with Sonny and Jax on the same night – a common problem around this town – and so the next round of predictions begins:

Carly will of course get pregnant, because a soap character cannot sleep with two guys in one night, or one week, without getting knocked up, especially when those characters are Sonny and Jax. And of course you know there is no chance in hell that that kid is going to be Jax’s. It never is. Or that we will see the Quartermaines anywhere near this story.

I mean, come on. You’ve got a “quadrangle” where one half is an utterly toxic multi-married pair who work much better with their new partners, two charming attractive characters with lovely chemistry. You just know how this is going to turn out.

Frankly the only wild card in this whole story is whether Vanessa Marcil’s going to grace us with her presence – and as much as I love her I really don’t want Brenda to come back into this dreck – and throw the current “quadrangle” all to hell.

I hate this show.

Clinging to Aesthetics

Oh, I really don’t know what everyone was complaining about with Friday/Monday’s General Hospital. There were plenty of things to love:

- Elizabeth’s fabulous yellow jacket
- Lucky in a long-sleeved t-shirt playing with the boys
- Kate being all smokey-eyed and glamorous
- even Lulu looked kind of well dressed and coifed for once

What? Is that something about gross predictability I hear you muttering?

Yeah, well Guza’s nothing if not gross (in all senses of the word) and predictable, so at least the clothes were pretty.

OLTL Experiment: the Verdict

I’d been struggling to come up with the appropriate rating system to express my take on the last two weeks of One Life to Live. A rating out of ten? Stars? Thumbs up/thumbs down? Pass/fail? In the end however, I’ve decided to keep it simple.

The verdict is this: at the moment One Life to Live is damn good soap.

Why?

At the moment it is delivering all that’s good about soaps.

The second post I ever wrote for this site – back in the deep dark depths of 2006 – started with as follows: In my humble opinion, the three things at the heart of any soap opera are Family, Romance and Friendship. Sure there is tragedy and humour and adventure, but those are all born out of the big three.

On OLTL I haven’t seen any tragedy yet, but I’ve seen all the rest.

And while I can’t speak to it personally, I gather the show is also delivering pretty well on that other element that’s great about soaps: the ability to draw on years or decades worth of history to inform or drive stories.

The pacing is good, the dialogue isn’t clunky. There are clichéd soap stories – the love triangle – being dealt with in ways that may not be ground-breaking but so far are entertaining. There are characters with layers, characters who are grey, characters who have flaws that can be seen and spoken to by the general Llanview populace rather than just the pained audience.

There is family conflict and support, friendships on display on a daily basis, romance, drama, and humour. There’s a socially relevant story going on that doesn’t feel like it’s bashing me about the head. There are umbrella stories.

It’s balanced in tone between the drama and the humour, the light and the dark. Coming from the relentlessly dark place that General Hospital has become, that may be the best thing of all.

It’s good and soapy, plain and simple.

It is not, of course, perfect.

There are stories that are more interesting than others, and couples and characters more or less appealing, but that’s just the nature of large canvas soaps and for every person who dislikes a story or a couple there will be another who loves it. So I don’t ever expect to be liking everything about a show. That aside, there a few signs of more fundamental flaws.

While Viki and Charlie are front and centre the show appears to be suffering from the same abuse of veterans syndrome as most shows other than Days. For example, since Cole, who I gather is in her care, ran away, we haven’t seen Nora once. Or Clint.

It also is suffering a bit from having front burner characters on every day; Starr, Cole, Jared and Natalie were all on nine of the ten days of the experiment, at the expense of a more balanced use of cast. That can be a problem very quickly even if slightly more forgivable during sweeps than at other times.

At the beginning of the experiment I asked two questions. The first, is the show as good as I had heard?, has been fairly comprehensively answered in the positive.

The second, can a new viewer pick up and be sucked into a show with which she has no history whatsoever? is best answered like this: I want to see what happens with the wedding, and the return of David Vickers, and this police sting.

So I’m going to keep watching for a while. Just to find out what happens during sweeps. And the aftermath of sweeps. And maybe in two months time.

So, congratulations Ron Carlivati and team, you’ve found a convert. And thanks to everyone who linked over here during the experiment, and joined in the comments – feel free to dive in and fill me in on all the history now – this has been a fun project.

And it’s been a while since I’ve been able to say something about soaps was fun, rather than boring and/or relentlessly dark.

OLTL Experiment: Days Nine and Ten

Thursday May 8 and Friday May 9

These two episodes really felt like one episode, so I’ve dealt with them together.

If they’re going to name the episodes, let’s get that out of the way first. “Dogg Day Afternoon” was pretty damn obvious but inoffensive, but “Uncle-cest is Best”? Really? Oh dear.

Moving on. We had the Bachelor/Bachelorette parties which eventually came together. Now it wouldn’t be a soap unless the two parties wound up together. Unless it was GH where the last four weddings haven’t even had Bachelorette parties: Liz because marriage number two to Lucky was beyond shot-gun and beyond redundant, Carly because she has no friends, Georgie got a near-death-bed hospital wedding and Tracy got a Las Vegas wedding. Come to think of it, when was the last time anyone on GH had a pre-wedding party of any kind?

Anyway, coming back to this show and the point: for this soap cliché the show actually gets bonus points. Rex gets drunk, gets his baby butt on a bearskin rug displayed publicly by his alcoholic mother who throws back shots nevertheless – if any of you would like to explain that last bit to me I won’t complain – and ultimately plays stripper at the women’s half of the party where his mother is one of the loudest egging him on despite the fact that (a) he’s her son; and (b) he’s drunk to the point where he can barely stand up. Those mother issues aside, Rex stripping at the party was kind of understandable given he’s over compensating, and also something a little different that was both a bit of cheesy fun and relevant to the underlying story.

Now, Snoop Dogg. Whatever.

Of all the shows to rip off...

Right, a pause in regular programming for a giant WTF?!?

Discussion of a Days spoiler after the jump, so do not jump if you’re unspoiled and uninterested in being so.

OLTL Experiment: Day Eight

Wednesday 7 May

This episode – “Hooked?” - was uneven.

Everything with Viki and Charlie, and Natalie and Jared, principally concerned sweetness and anvil flinging. Jared and Natalie I definitely like and there was much fun going on, but the Viki/Charlie stuff felt as if it were laid on a bit thick. I’ve only been watching a week and a half and I already have a fairly good understanding of the stakes after the previous day’s episode, so this episode felt a bit much.

Over in the other part of the wedding story we have a typically soapy set up. Groom is having second thoughts, Groom’s old girlfriend is in love with him but trying to hold firm, Bride-to-be finds out a major secret and elects to keep it from the Groom so as to save the relationship. Eventually it will all come out and blow up in their collective faces. A soap story told over and over.

What makes one of these stories work or not work is the execution. This is a story Days did a million times with a single character, Sami Brady, and it wasn’t until the last time, when she finally married Lucas that it actually worked as a story, and that was because they twisted it slightly.

So far in this story the one thing I like is that the three points of the triangle are actually confiding in other people. If this were Days they’d just be talking to a mirror and having flashbacks all the time. Rex is talking to Charlie and even to Gigi herself, Gigi is talking to Viki, and in some really nice scenes Adriana is getting good advice together with support from Layla. Of course she’s not going to take the advice, but at least it’s being given.

So we’ll see what happens with this story as to whether there’s ultimately something different in the execution, or if the pacing is good enough that it doesn’t just feel repetitive. Or if it winds up being just another meh triangle with lies story. I can’t yet tell, and suspect won’t be able to until it becomes apparent whether there will be a pay-off and if so, what it will be.

In the final story of the day while Starr and Cole are being romantic at the beach with hints of massive presumption by Cole in making doctor’s appointments and buying baby clothes, and John and Blair hang out in the kitchen getting leads on the kids’ whereabouts that they don’t plan on sharing with Todd, Langston and Markko are carrying the can, and the baby, for the whole thing.

Todd steps things up by playing Sonny Corinthos and hanging Markko on a meat hook and threatening to kill him. Of course, unlike when Sonny did it, I don’t believe we’re meant to think that Todd is in the right here. Then, to drive home that point, he starts brandishing a knife and stabbing innocent cardboard boxes. Before pointing it at Langston’s throat and chest. Staring hypnotically at the knife point while using it to play with Langston’s necklace. Charming guy, this one.

Langston tries counselling Todd. That girl definitely has moxie. Todd prefers raiding backpacks for contraband cell phones and throwing things. Blair and John figure out they’re at the beach at the same time Todd calls the kids, eventually getting Starr on the phone.

And then we have the revelation that David Vickers is working at the Bon Jour café in Texas, where I gather half the known Llanview population also worked or ate one point or another. I’m not sure where Vickers is meant to have been, but I’m going to guess it’s not in a hairnet in Texas.

So, soapy, but uneven. I think the weakest of the post-strike episodes, but it still had things moving forward. Plus a bonus point for portraying hanging someone on a meat hook and threatening them to get what you want as being a bad thing.